Comments on: Early Childhood Memories

By: John Dale Lyons

John Dale Lyons — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 22:59:53 +0000

My early memories are mixed. I remember being frustrated at not being tall enough to open a door or use a light switch. I remember walking with my father. I pointed to the parked cars and said “I like that!” He replied “Those are called cars.” I remember my mother giving me a bath in the kitchen sink. I didn’t like to bathe. I wasn’t hydrophobic; it was just too much sensation. I remember how the drain thing felt against my feet, the smell of Johnson’s baby shampoo, how the water felt uncomfortable in my ears. My mother would take a pot of warm water and warn me “Here comes the water!” I didn’t like the bath, but I liked that kind of intimacy, that we were doing things together rather “normal” forms of affection such as hugs that I felt uncomfortable with. (Not anymore; I love to hug my girlfriend).

There was no diagnosis back of Aspergers back in the 1960′s; I just had “problems.” Fortunately, my parents (mostly my mother) sent me to a place that specialized in things like socialization, and handling emotions. Only about 10 years ago or so did I even hear of Aspergers. And about 2 years ago I was also diagnosed with ADD.

Writing about these things is like Proust smelling the madeline.

By: Rachel

Rachel — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 23:32:37 +0000

Simon Baron-Cohen coined the term “mind-blindness” to describe an inability to read non-verbal cues in order to discern what another person might be thinking or feeling. He states that neuro-typical people are basically “mind-reading” all the time, making educated guesses based on lots of non-verbal cues, and that being able to “mind-read” is central to navigating through social interactions.

I realized as a child that I could not mind-read. It expressed itself in the realization that the images in my mother’s mind were altogether different from mine, and that I could not see them. What I was really saying to myself was that I had no way to tell what was going on in her mind unless she told me explicitly. Once I heard the words, the issue of the pictures in her mind being different from the pictures in my mind would be held in abeyance, and I could empathize. So, for instance, if my mother were disappointed over something and expressed it in words, I would feel sad, as though the disappointment had happened to me.

By: Phoebe Bergvall

Phoebe Bergvall — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 09:45:45 +0000

I relate to having memories of things more than people, and of people seeming like moving shadows. I think the sensory overload applies there- I blocked them out as it was too much to process. As a child in school, we are put in an impossible situation. My daughter got in trouble in first grade for appearing to not pay attention, but she was- she was just off by herself, but still listening.
Where does the word ‘mind-blind’ come from? I haven’t heard it, and am curious about what that means. It sounds right, though.

By: Rachel

Rachel — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 03:12:39 +0000

Hi Jennifer–

Thanks for your comments. It’s true what you say: People have never seemed like inanimate objects to me. If the context is right, I enjoy the time I spend with people. My challenge is to stay aware of the early warning signs of sensory overload and limit my time before I get overwhelmed. This is a new skill I’m learning, and it’s proving quite useful.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 01:32:19 +0000

My husband has tremendous difficulty recognising faces.
When I first read about Aspergers in connection with my children, I recognised it as fitting him (which was a surprise to me, at the time, but less of a surprise to him: he admitted that he probably had it- he recognised himself in the descriptions, but he simply shrugged his shoulders.)
It’s really strange that if somebody wears different clothes he can’t recognise them. It takes a long while till somebodies face registers.

Long ago, I saw a documentary on autism where they showed that certain parts of the brain are triggered when looking at faces, but that the brains of autistic people don’t register the same way- they were said to see faces in the same way as they register inanimate objects.
Yet, your description, of wondering what your mother was thinking, means that you knew that people are far from inanimate objects.