Since being diagnosed, I’ve been looking at childhood photos of myself in a new light. Not only do I see a kid on sensory overload trying very hard to be normal, but I also see some interesting Aspie things I do with my eyes and with my arms. So here are some photos of me from infancy to my senior year in high school (1958 to 1976).
 
Studio portrait taken sometime between June and December, 1958

I’ve already got that focused Aspie stare and a look of alarm mixed with fascination. It’s as though I’m thinking,  “Wow, I had no idea there would be THAT many visuals. This is kind of scary and very cool at the same time.”

  

  

 

Outdoor photo, circa 1960

Okay, I put it here because it’s cute.  

 
 
 
 

Fifth-grade school photo, 1969

It’s subtle, but my eyes are definitely averted in this photo. I couldn’t quite make eye contact with the photographer and his camera.

  

  

  

  

  

  

Newpaper photo, summer, 1969
My father took this photograph after I won a statewide piano contest.
Playing in recitals and contests completely overloaded my senses, and I felt very empty inside.  I recall vividly going through the motions of having the picture taken and trying to pretend that everything was fine.

 
 
 
 

  

  

  

 

 

Photo in the music room at my high school, spring, 1976

I love this photo, because it shows me concentrating at the piano. By this point, I had switched piano teachers and was freed from the trials and tribulations of recitals and contests. My new teacher was an elderly French lady who taught me proper technique and helped me break down a piece of music in order to understand all the different parts.

Recently, my oldest friend in the world sent me an email to tell me that she had had a very vivid sense memory of sitting in the sun in the music room, listening to me play the piano. Since I received her email, this photo has become especially precious to me.

  

  

  

  

  
 
 
 
 
 
 

Photo taken outside my high school, just before graduation, 1976

I remember feeling very relieved because high school would soon, mercifully, be over. It was a beautiful, breezy spring day. As I look at it now, I can see that I didn’t quite know what to do with my arms (another Aspie trait).

My hippie-chick photo, 1976

I saved this one for last because it is one of my favorite photos of myself. I am looking directly into the camera, and on my face is the fierceness and the focus that I felt inside.

Note that I’m wearing my regulation hippie-chick attire: beaded necklace, embroidered peasant blouse, and blue jeans. I’ve also got the long hippie-chick hair, parted in the middle.

 

I love looking at old photos with new eyes.