I finally started finding a “place” in middle school when I was introduced to orchestra and took up the cello. I agree with you that it is a real tragedy so many schools are regarding music and the arts as a waste these days, as I’m sure there are many aspies for whom these programs are a real lifeline.

I always had a few close friends, but was never popular until college. My first friend was a girl, so there’s a commonality with you and Gavin. Grammar school and junior high school were hell. The schools themselves and the teachers were fine, but I was picked on. When I went to a (then) small Modern Orthodox yeshiva high school, I thrived academically and socially, but I still had to deal with bullies.

I was not into sports, which made me an oddball, but I liked other masculine things such as cars, other vehicles, and the military. I’m still not much of a sports person. I was bad at it, and was teased for that. But as an adult I discovered Tae Kwan-do, so I understand your joy at your daughter’s accomplishments. (I haven’t been practising for years, but I would like to get back into kickboxing, which is similar to TKD, and I also did). I have always liked odd or “girlie” things such as art, flowers, cats, ants, the planets, dinosaurs, books, science fiction, Judaism (and religion in general), mythology, England and British things. Fortunately I have found an NT woman who shares most of my interests.

I have always liked music, but my poor hand-eye coordination and lack of patience prevented me from learning an instrument. But I can sing, and write song parodies. I often lead services at my synagogue.

My family was a mixed bag. My father suffered from various neuroses, and the divorce got ugly. But I am now close to my stepmother. And I think my dad loved me to the limited extent he could. My mother is wonderful: a friend, role model, and mentor. But she is not warm and fuzzy. My brother was my best friend and a second father figure. He had to sacrifice a lot to have a sibling with AS, but he bore his burden cheerfully, with no grudge or self-pity. But we grew apart when he married a possessive woman, and he tragically died young last year.

All in all, it hasn’t been easy but it could have been worse. One must count the blessings and not be bitter.

You were a girl who played with boys and I was a boy who played with girls. We both sought out opposites.

My group at school (many of whom are still good friends now 20+ years after finishing school), was composed of individuals who for various reasons didn’t fit in – outsiders.

I wasn’t into music or arts but my friends and I got involved with the school library and A/V facilities and that kept us “safe” during our high school years.