Comments on: Aspies and Friendship, Part One http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2009/02/02/aspies-and-friendship-part-one/ Ethics, Disability Rights, and Reports from Life on the Spectrum Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:19:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Jacquie http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2009/02/02/aspies-and-friendship-part-one/comment-page-1/#comment-71369 Jacquie Thu, 03 Dec 2009 03:07:07 +0000 http://www.aspergerjourneys.com/?p=866#comment-71369 I feel that I can relate to your challenges with AS and your writing is spectacular. I also have AS and like to write. I had an experience in middle school where this girl was always talking to me and I thought she was my friend but in high school she acted like I didn't exist. People also have often talked to me about their problems. I think what I'm learning is that there is no such thing as normal and all of us have issues. I feel that I can relate to your challenges with AS and your writing is spectacular. I also have AS and like to write. I had an experience in middle school where this girl was always talking to me and I thought she was my friend but in high school she acted like I didn’t exist. People also have often talked to me about their problems. I think what I’m learning is that there is no such thing as normal and all of us have issues.

]]> By: Taylor Selseth http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2009/02/02/aspies-and-friendship-part-one/comment-page-1/#comment-68871 Taylor Selseth Mon, 26 Oct 2009 03:27:20 +0000 http://www.aspergerjourneys.com/?p=866#comment-68871 Wow, I've always wondered why people always seem to come to me with their problems as if I was their personal therapist, LOL. Never thought it was related to my AS. I found college much easier for making friends, more intellectually-minded geeks and nerds that liked deep conversations, scientific speculations, political debate, and philosophical musings. Wow, I’ve always wondered why people always seem to come to me with their problems as if I was their personal therapist, LOL. Never thought it was related to my AS.

I found college much easier for making friends, more intellectually-minded geeks and nerds that liked deep conversations, scientific speculations, political debate, and philosophical musings.

]]> By: Rachel http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2009/02/02/aspies-and-friendship-part-one/comment-page-1/#comment-39900 Rachel Mon, 11 May 2009 13:36:51 +0000 http://www.aspergerjourneys.com/?p=866#comment-39900 Craig, it's so great to hear about another Aspie who set out to build walls, but found someone who could get past them. It's always wonderful when people can see us for who we really are--despite our best efforts to hide it. Craig, it’s so great to hear about another Aspie who set out to build walls, but found someone who could get past them. It’s always wonderful when people can see us for who we really are–despite our best efforts to hide it.

]]> By: Craig Liley http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2009/02/02/aspies-and-friendship-part-one/comment-page-1/#comment-39884 Craig Liley Mon, 11 May 2009 12:01:51 +0000 http://www.aspergerjourneys.com/?p=866#comment-39884 I grew so tired of being teased throughout middle school for being "different", that in high school I set out to be as intimidating as possible. I was physically much more mature than my classmates, so in my freshman year I grew a large, bushy mustache and beard, and grew my hair out. I looked quite a bit like some motorcycle gang member. my wife says that as I went down the halls between classes, three would literally be a bubble around me, as nobody wanted to get too close. Fortunately for me, a wonderful young woman saw through my facade, and found many of the traits of my aspiness to be very attractive and endearing (I have no idea why), so all through high school I did have one close friend. I grew so tired of being teased throughout middle school for being “different”, that in high school I set out to be as intimidating as possible. I was physically much more mature than my classmates, so in my freshman year I grew a large, bushy mustache and beard, and grew my hair out. I looked quite a bit like some motorcycle gang member. my wife says that as I went down the halls between classes, three would literally be a bubble around me, as nobody wanted to get too close.

Fortunately for me, a wonderful young woman saw through my facade, and found many of the traits of my aspiness to be very attractive and endearing (I have no idea why), so all through high school I did have one close friend.

]]> By: Rachel http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2009/02/02/aspies-and-friendship-part-one/comment-page-1/#comment-7129 Rachel Wed, 18 Mar 2009 22:51:40 +0000 http://www.aspergerjourneys.com/?p=866#comment-7129 Hi Soph, and welcome! It's true that other people's responses to us have as much to do with them as with us. A friend of mine once said that she tries to remember that when people compliment her or criticize her, they are expressing their *experience* of her. I've found that to be a very useful way of de-personalizing the responses of other people. Hi Soph, and welcome!

It’s true that other people’s responses to us have as much to do with them as with us. A friend of mine once said that she tries to remember that when people compliment her or criticize her, they are expressing their *experience* of her. I’ve found that to be a very useful way of de-personalizing the responses of other people.

]]> By: Soph http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2009/02/02/aspies-and-friendship-part-one/comment-page-1/#comment-7119 Soph Wed, 18 Mar 2009 22:35:39 +0000 http://www.aspergerjourneys.com/?p=866#comment-7119 I recently had a problem with feeling that people weren't listening to me. I thought I wasn't talking properly because I'd made it a rule not to monologue. I guess the truth is that some people just aren't good listeners. I recently had a problem with feeling that people weren’t listening to me. I thought I wasn’t talking properly because I’d made it a rule not to monologue. I guess the truth is that some people just aren’t good listeners.

]]> By: camilla (millie) http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2009/02/02/aspies-and-friendship-part-one/comment-page-1/#comment-215 camilla (millie) Sun, 15 Feb 2009 19:45:17 +0000 http://www.aspergerjourneys.com/?p=866#comment-215 The aspie as "keeper of secrets!" i read this wit amusement as at times my early life was like that. a lacl of recoprocity. people would disclose information and i would sit there silently. Little did they know my internal diaologue comprised ...WHEN are they going to stop? thanks rachel. The aspie as “keeper of secrets!” i read this wit amusement as at times my early life was like that. a lacl of recoprocity. people would disclose information and i would sit there silently.
Little did they know my internal diaologue comprised …WHEN are they going to stop?
thanks rachel.

]]> By: Ben http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2009/02/02/aspies-and-friendship-part-one/comment-page-1/#comment-188 Ben Mon, 09 Feb 2009 00:05:57 +0000 http://www.aspergerjourneys.com/?p=866#comment-188 i had similar experiences in my twenties, where people were always telling me intensely personal stuff, and i thought everybody worked this way. i did realize, too, that people weren't asking me about myself. i usually listened and never thought anything weird or out of sorts, and rarely judged. i've wondered if people didn't ask because i was so open about anything and everything on my mind (a former friend once referred to it as over-disclosure, a term i still enjoy). i've gotten very sensitive to social slights over the years, and seeking to regain a certain sense of detachment, for lack of a better word. thanks, as always for putting all this stuff to words. Ben i had similar experiences in my twenties, where people were always telling me intensely personal stuff, and i thought everybody worked this way. i did realize, too, that people weren’t asking me about myself. i usually listened and never thought anything weird or out of sorts, and rarely judged. i’ve wondered if people didn’t ask because i was so open about anything and everything on my mind (a former friend once referred to it as over-disclosure, a term i still enjoy).
i’ve gotten very sensitive to social slights over the years, and seeking to regain a certain sense of detachment, for lack of a better word.
thanks, as always for putting all this stuff to words.

Ben

]]> By: Rachel http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2009/02/02/aspies-and-friendship-part-one/comment-page-1/#comment-163 Rachel Wed, 04 Feb 2009 14:53:27 +0000 http://www.aspergerjourneys.com/?p=866#comment-163 Thanks, everyone. I enjoy your comments so much. Before I started this blog, I had considered writing a book about my life as an Aspie, but this is so much better. If I were writing a book, I wouldn't be able to hear about your experiences and have a conversation about our mutual struggles and successes. This is really wonderful for me. Thanks, everyone. I enjoy your comments so much.

Before I started this blog, I had considered writing a book about my life as an Aspie, but this is so much better. If I were writing a book, I wouldn’t be able to hear about your experiences and have a conversation about our mutual struggles and successes. This is really wonderful for me.

]]> By: LizzieK8 http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2009/02/02/aspies-and-friendship-part-one/comment-page-1/#comment-156 LizzieK8 Tue, 03 Feb 2009 14:39:50 +0000 http://www.aspergerjourneys.com/?p=866#comment-156 This is so my life! I so totally understand. Virtual hugs. Not so much for what you've gone through and what you're going through, but for knowing there is someone who understands and has felt and is still feeling what you've felt. This is so my life! I so totally understand. Virtual hugs. Not so much for what you’ve gone through and what you’re going through, but for knowing there is someone who understands and has felt and is still feeling what you’ve felt.

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