Many thanks to everyone for giving me such great support about handling the situation at work. I thought I’d bring you up to date on the latest developments.
I went in early today and spoke with the volunteer coordinator. We had a very good conversation. I told her what had happened and that there seemed to be a communication problem between the staff and the volunteer who works with the books. Since I’d been asked to organize the books by a manager, I was really shocked to find my work undone. My main concern was that I understand the other volunteer’s boundaries so that I can help without getting in the way of her process. I don’t want to step on her toes, and I don’t want her to step on mine. The volunteer coordinator asked me to show her the shelves, to describe what I’d done, and to explain what had changed. She needed the visual and thanked me for the information. She’s a very good communicator, so I feel reassured that I will get some clarification about how to proceed.
I also used our meeting to have a conversation about my sensory processing issues. It seemed time to let her know what works for me and what doesn’t. I told her that working with most of the books was really out of the question anyway, because when I have to stand on a chair to get books from a high shelf and then come down and work with books on a low shelf, I get very dizzy. I could work with the children’s books, though, because they’re on low shelves and I can just sit on the floor with them. I also told her about being overloaded by visual and auditory stimuli, and that I need to limit my time to two hours or I start to get past my comfort zone.
Finally, I told her that I would enjoy having a task that I can focus on from week to week, whether it be working with children’s books, jewelry, or any other aspect of the store. There are volunteers who work only on one thing, and there are others who just do whatever is needed. So far, I’ve been coming in and asking “What can I do for you today?” I don’t mind continuing that to some degree, but I’m finding the need to focus on something in particular from week to week just to feel a sense of routine. I told her that whatever I do, I’d like to continue working with the customers, because I really love that and would not want to end up in a room doing a task by myself.
All in all, the conversation went very well. I felt extremely vulnerable about bringing up the sensory processing issues, and even got a little disoriented talking about them, but I’m glad I did. I felt very liberated by having done it, and I felt that I could be myself more freely than before, so that was a great unexpected outcome. I didn’t mention having Asperger’s because I figured I’d given her enough to think about for one day. And anyway, I do pretty well socially most of the time. It’s a non-conformist kind of place with artists and otherwise interesting folks, so I’m not seen as weird by any means.
So there you have it. Thanks again for your support. You are all amazing!
© 2009 by Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg
Hey well done… I find it’s always a bit (lot) difficult having those sorts of conversations but the worst bits are usually BEFORE you go in. Good job being brave enough to do it.
I have a major problem with confrontations; esp. with authority figures. I am greatly relieved things are going better for you. Thank goodness you don’t work at my job. The administration is totally chaotic; and this is a school and kids need stability. Even the NT”s are going bonkers.
good on you, rachel. the assertion is very healthy and very important and i know from my experience as a recovering addict (as well as having Apserger’s Syndrome) that some people can be very accommodating and very decent for the most part IF we communicate our issues clearly and as best we can. It depends on the context of course, as John Dale Lyons says.
I think it is good you took a risk in such a manner -particularly as you had already gleaned that your supervisor at the charity store is a good communicator and fairly reasonable. three cheers!
NT’s Are Strange (apologies: The Doors)
NT’s are strange when you’re an Aspie
Faces inscrutible on the “spectrum”
The world seems wicked when you’re unwanted
Moods are uneven, then you’re down
When you’re “strange”
NT’s assume you’re insane–
But they’re strange
It is yourself that you blame
NT’s are strange when you’re an Aspie
Faces must be looked at, or they freak out
Why think you’re weirdo, when you’re autistic?
People react unevenly to your frown
When you’re “Other”
Faces come boggle your brain
When you’re Aspie
No one teaches rules to this game-
You’re not deranged…
When you’re Aspie
etc. to fade out.