Every time I think I’m the only one who has ever said, thought, done, or experienced something odd, I find another Aspie who describes the experience precisely. In the past few weeks, a couple of commenters to this blog have described things that I’d never thought another living soul had ever experienced. I’ll share their comments, in the hopes that others might discover that they are not the only ones, either.
1. In her response to my Like a Deer Caught in the Headlights post, Soph wrote about the experience of being talked at and overwhelmed:
“On one recent occasion I literally did feel as if my brains had been scooped out and this person’s thoughts were all I had in my head. It actually was like brainwashing.”
I couldn’t believe it. She had described exactly how I felt every time I talked to my mother. My mother was quite a relentless talker, and she would talk over, under, around, and through me. It left me feeling like an empty shell holding only her thoughts and feelings. It took many years of recovery and empowerment work to be able to hear my own inner voice.
Even now, I find that when I’m around people who are relentless talkers, who won’t let me get a word in edgewise, or who won’t respond directly to anything I’ve said, I feel just plain lost. It’s like I just go away. Even though I may seem like I’m doing okay, my brain and all my senses are on total and complete overload.
Last week, I had another experience with someone talking at me. I am happy to report that this time, I just got up and walked away. Just like that! I finally realized that I had a very simple choice: I could protect the other person’s feelings, or I could protect my own very sensitive neurological system. I chose wisely.
2. In her response to my post about my second OT visit, Linda wrote about having a sensation of falling when going to sleep at night:
“I sucked two fingers at night until I was fourteen because the stimulation helped balance my system so that I didn’t have strange floating, falling and tipping sensations.”
This comment really knocked me out. As an adult, I have sometimes had the sensation of falling down when I’m falling asleep. I’ll be drifting off to sleep, and then I feel as though I’ve slipped backwards going down a stair or walking off a curb. It feels as though my legs have gone out from under me. I feel weightless, and then, I feel like I’ve hit the ground. I always wake up very startled by this sensation, and I nearly always let out a shout.
I’ve always wondered what this experience is about. I emailed my OT about it, and she said that she had heard similar stories. She didn’t have an immediate answer as to why I would have this experience, but she said she’d ponder some possible explanations. I’m wondering whether it has something to do with my gravitational insecurity. I have an appointment this week, and I’m looking forward to hearing what she has to say.
If you feel so inclined, let me know whether you’ve had experiences similar to the ones I’ve described. It’s been a very great relief to me to know that I’m not the only one.
© 2009 by Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg
I have the falling sensation when falling asleep. As does my mother. I heard that it was the heart skipping a beat as it slows down into a sleeping rhythm. Is that not the case then? Is it an Aspie thing? Wow.
I don’t know whether it’s an Aspie thing. It feels like it has its origin in the vestibular system, because it has to do with a sense of balance and spatial orientation, but I don’t know for sure. It could be the heart skipping a beat, but why does that only happen to certain people? This is very interesting…
I was an adult before my “problems” were diagnosed. My ADD wasn’t diagnosed until last year. When I was growing up, Aspergers just wasn’t a common diagnosis. I am grateful to know that Rachel and other great people have the same condition I have. I used to think I was the only one on earth like myself. Very lonely.
Could be a lot of undiagnosed Aspies out there.
I wonder if I have vestibular problems? I hate walking down slopes, even little ones. I need to hang on to someone’s arm.
I get the falling down feeling while falling asleep too. Not all the time, just sometimes. Maybe it is a heart thing for some people – I have a murmur (not AS). Maybe it is a vestibular thing for other people.
That falling down sensation doesn’t have anything to do with being an aspie. I read an explanation years ago, but don’t remember what it was. It’s actually normal and fairly common. There’s nothing like it to wake you right up!
Wow, so it’s not an Aspie thing. It’s just a regular person thing. I feel so….normal.
Yep, the falling down sensation is…. normal! I get it occasionally, but not often. I usually feel more (physically) relaxed after, and I’ve wondered whether it’s my body’s way of releasing tension. I tend to hold onto tension, so it’s pretty awesome when something makes me let go of it.
I get the falling while asleep thing 2-3 times a night. My wife can always tell, because I wake up with a start, and suddenly jerk. I remember reading somewhere that most people get this sometimes, but I don’t know if people with AS or SPD have it more frequently.
I’m frequently amazed at how you manage to give words to things I have been experiencing all my life, but could never describe
“Myoclonic” jerk is what that muscular spasm is called.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myoclonic_jerk
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnic_jerk
Anything could potentially be a symptom, but this one’s usually a run-of-the-mill (common) phenomenon.
Wow! It even has an official name. Thanks, Belfast!