Grounding myself at home is already having some unexpected effects. For instance, I had a visit today from my step-daughter, who is in the area for a class reunion. I like her very much, but we’ve had a pretty difficult relationship. Since the AS diagnosis, I’ve realized that the difficulties are mainly sensory. It’s helped me take everything much less personally, so when I saw her today, I was genuinely happy she’d stopped by, and we had a really nice chat.

Then, a few minutes later, I went back to my hobbit hole to spend some more time in Aspieland.

Thank you again for a wonderful post. I attend a support group for adults with Asperger’s and at the moment we have nine regular members. It is the most important part of my week, and I have met someone there who is becoming a good friend. The thing is, I am the only female and my weekly interactions are almost exclusively with men–but not on purpose! I really appreciate being able to read an insightful, meaningful and entertaining Asperger’s blog from a female perspective.
One of my current interests is the way that AS manifests in girls and women. Many people are surprised to learn that our symptoms are often different. Awareness equals earlier diagnosis!
I, too, am learning how to respect what I am able and not able to do, and to remove the guilt from the equation when I decide to let something in my life go. I just turned forty in May and received an official diagnosis last November. With positive support now I am making so many good changes in my life–not only to reduce sensory overload and anxiety, but to value my Asperger aspects that were often considered undesireable in the past by me and by others.

Samuel: I’m overjoyed to hear that an early diagnosis has been a good thing for you. It gives me a lot of hope that the next generation of Aspies will not have quite so many struggles as those of us who were diagnosed later.

John and Kate: Thanks!

Gavin: I really like the image of teaching a cat to bark. Very funny, and very helpful, too!

Moksha: Keeping hanging out on AS blogs, and see if anything helps move your process along. I’ve gotten a lot out of other people’s writing. Sometimes, someone will write a piece that feels like something that would come out of my own head, except that the other Aspie got there first.

Saja: We definitely seem to be living parallel lives. It’s fascinating to me. I’m looking forward to the next installment.

LizzieK8: I’m very happy to read what you wrote because it’s exactly the way I’m planning to handle things. I want to start with me, my daily life in my home, and see what kind of rhythm and balance I find for myself here. Then, as you say, I’ll have a better basis on which to add things.

Jennifer: Love that quote! Wow.

“People with autism are used to going our own way. This may make it easier for us to seperate from others and their opinions on how to deal with general issues. This source of own independent power people with autism carry with them kan be an important source of self esteem if you look for your own (autism) identity.

Your own autism identity is a pure thing. This is you, pure and unspoiled you. Be proud of it and try to make the best of it, let your inner autism child be heard and treat it well. You are worth it.”

We’ve got guys coming to work on our house (new addition), and they were supposed to come this morning at 7 AM. Since my husband’s away, this has been a significant stressor for me for *days*. Set the alarm, got up at 6:40….turns out they have things to finish on the house down the street (apparently), and will be here no doubt later today. But my morning is wrecked, I’m alone but not alone because I’m ever listening for signs someone might be arriving, I’m irritated and annoyed and anxious and peeved at something really quite unimportant and not even on the radar for an NT.

And then there’s the rest of your post….I’m sending my husband a link to it, because you describe it so perfectly for me. Everything. The script in your head, everything. And we’re at much the same place in our journeys (though I envy you the one, nearly-grown daughter instead of three, the youngest of which is a toddler ).

(And thanks so much for continuing to comment on my blog….it’s really good to read what you say, and to know I have an audience. Though I’m writing for myself, the connection is somehow very important to me.)