Ah, the joys of being an Aspie of the INFJ personality type…

My daughters struggle with school. One has discalculia, daydreams, and works slowly- not completing her work. The other is “young” for her age, so will be skipping one year so that she can play longer before she has the pressure to learn to read.

It would be great to have academically gifted children. I wonder, if I had been less accepting, would they have been academically better? Would they be forced to have a different brain-wiring? They are intelligent, but at this moment are unable to demonstrate it in a conventional way. I have loads of questions like these, but only time will tell.

Both children seem happy, but I do wonder whether they really are, and to what degree.One of them has frequent headaches, for example.
I don’t have a strict routine. One morning I can dress them first, and then we eat breakfast. The next day it could easily be the other way around.
Should I be accommodating a rigid need for structure (if there is one), or is it good that they experience variation? It’s not easy to know what is best for them.
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(We readers of Rachel’s blog pretty much worship the ground you walk on. ) Seriously: it’s great to hear from you directly, after hearing so much about you from Rachel.

On young autists actualizing their gifts: part of my difficulty now is the feeling that my autistic gifts have been denied breathing room by my NT coping skills. There’s been no time or space for them for forty years. Like Rachel, I do and have done NT all the time, rain or shine, necessary or not. So I certainly agree that autistic kids should, above all, be given the freedom to discover themselves, and that NT emulation should be part of a toolbox, not a way of being.

I also agree that ideally, people should be free to be themselves, wherever, whenever. But I am not that naive. Nor do I think the world will ever be a place without discrimination and fear. That seems to be an innate component of the human condition; there are always people who dislike what is not like them, and apparently fear it enough to want to destroy it. I don’t understand it, but it’s been around since there have been humans, and I doubt it will disappear.

Rachel’s “banding together” example does help, of course. Applied on a societal scale, it means changing laws and educating people. Abolishing segregation. Making gay marriage legal. Long-term societal change that bands large, diverse communities–not just the gay guys in the neighborhood, but the whole neighborhood, city, state, and country–together to protect their members against those few whose gene pool or upbringing or both makes them need to harm someone different from them. This takes time, and I think it’s happening for autism, as the outdated view of head-banging mutes in a corner is replaced by the rich variety of the spectrum, and people like Amanda Baggs show the world that even the least NT-like autistics ARE “in there” and communicative.

But for those inevitable moments when you’re alone with the intolerant, a little strategic fitting in is a very fine tool to have.

But is it possible — or advantageous — for spectrum folks to create their own community? I suppose that could work but, as with any homogeneous community, it also creates its own problems. Comments on this blog seem to indicate that the “conscious coupling” of spectrum and NT can work when it is allowed to. Rachel and I struggle with this all the time: finding the balance that allows each of us to hear and support the other. And I know it isn’t easy for us, and the blog comments give me a glimpse into some of your lives too. I’m noticing that, as much as I can accept our reality, I’m still in the “bargaining” mindset — still thinking or hoping that this isn’t really happening or that somehow it isn’t as difficult as it seems. I know I’m trying to move myself into the “accepting” mindset, one that will allow me — and us — to face our reality as a couple and take the steps that will allow both of us to continue growing and supporting each other. Just knowing that there are other people like me out there struggling with these same issues certainly helps me!

I do wonder about a school that is for autistic people that isn’t able to accommodate an autistic person as a volunteer. Learning to articulate needs is important for every person but especially for us as it seems ours are not easily guessed at by others. NT or not. Looking at things online I find so much well-intentioned autism awareness stuff insulting because it defines us as somehow broken, damaged, or incomplete. Makes me want to produce a line of tees for “NT Awareness.”

” In terms of behavioral treatments, the hyper-plasticity offers an immense scope for rehabilitation therapies that are based on excessive positive reward and comforting approaches and that avoid direct punishment, which may lead to a lockdown of behavioral routines. It may well turn out that successful treatments could expose truly capable and highly gifted individuals.”

To whit… that the young brain is malleable and therefore it is hopeful that more autists will be able to actualize their gifts.

There’s an article that deals, in part, with the (theoretical) hyper-plasticity of the autistic brain. You can find the article at:

http://frontiersin.org/neuroscience/paper/10.3389/neuro.01/1.1.006.2007/html/

I wrote a June post on the article, which you can find at:

http://www.aspergerjourneys.com/?s=intense+world+syndrome

By utilizing the different strategies and integration techniques at young ages, wiring changes are being made. The brain’s neuroplasiticity is much greater in a young brain, so by taking advantage of sensory integration techniques (for example) it’s possible that the brain is being permanently wired to properly integrate better, therefore the overload problems will be decreased.

I think there are definitely some advantages to taking advantage of neuroplasticity. There’s certainly good solid evidence that vipassana style meditation grows the frontal lobes, even into middle age. This is important in emotional regulation…

There is of course a limit to how far it can go, but I would think that if early training could result in better executive function and reduce the sensory integration difficulties, then more autists would be able to apply their unique talents and traits in an effective manner.

However, I have not seen anything that indicates growing or developing mirror neurons or neuronal pathways necessary to automatically read/translate body language is possible, so the social aspect would still be on a cognitive level. With the possible decreased stress due to better sensory integration and more effective executive function, it may be that socially functional skills will be maintained for longer.

I think an article about neuroplasticity and the autistic brain would be fascinating….