This week, my 93-year-old father-in-law was joined by his 90-year-old sister in sending out love and support to Bob and to me. With her permission, I’m sharing the email that Bob’s aunt Charlotte sent to us. She lives in California and is the person whose 90th birthday party Bob missed in August.

Here is her email:

“Dear Bob and Rachel,

How I wish I lived closer to you.  I have all this warmth – so many  
hugs – and I think you could both use some right about now. I’m really  
sorry both of you missed my party. It was an interesting gathering of  
many parts of my life and you two really belonged there.

But I do understand. Reading Rachel’s blog – and some of the others as  
well – gave me new insight into the world in which people with autism  
live. I had no idea. Having learned a bit about it does help me  
understand why Bob was unable to leave at this juncture. I admire your  
plans to find other resources so that Rachel can be more comfortable  
not only if Bob is away but so that her great fear that he might not  
return and she would be without support can also be ameliorated.

For someone who had been as independent as Rachel was, this must be a  
great blow, but to give a name to the changes that have taken place  
must be a great comfort and I’m glad you have a therapist with whom  
you can work things out. I am still so very independent but the day  
will come when I can no longer drive and if THAT terrifies me so, I  
can have just a glimpse of how the world must look to Rachel.

What more to say? I love you both and wish I were nearby to do  
SOMETHING.
OOOXXXAunt Charlotte”

Since we received this message, some of the burdens I’ve been carrying have been lifted from my soul. It’s amazing what a little kindness can do, especially coming from someone who could have reacted angrily to Bob’s absence. When Bob called her to say that he wasn’t coming to California, she said, “That’s all right. The next time you visit, I’ll have more time to spend with you than would be possible at a big party.”

And now, she’s sent just the right message at just the right time. How amazing is that?

© 2009 by Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg