I went to New York City with Bob for three days last week, and I made a new friend. I know you already know one another (fairly well, in fact), but you’ve never been formally introduced. Kindly forgive the social faux pas, which I will now graciously remedy:
Blog readers, meet My Eccentricity. My Eccentricity, meet my blog readers. My Eccentricity has been around for awhile (as long as I can remember, in fact), but we’ve only recently become close friends. It’s amazing what a trip to New York City will do for you.
And how did I happen to end up in New York City for three days when I frequently quail at the prospect of going grocery shopping in our quaint little New England backwater? It was love. Of course! Read on.
The Incentive: I was tired of being away from Bob for three days every other week. He was tired of being away from me for three days every other week. Spending time with his dad is an imperative for Bob, so the idea of cutting back on these visits never occurred to either of us. The only way to get more time together was for me to get in the car and go to New York City.
The Drive to New York City: It had been about a year and a half since Bob and I had made the four-hour drive to New York together, and I had missed those times. It’s always been great to go for a long drive and have time to talk, joke, and just be together. So, although the drive was completely overstimulating to my poor Aspie nervous system, I made it to the hotel without getting a migraine. The fact that we took the Merritt Parkway, on which no trucks are allowed, went a long way toward keeping my stress at a reasonable level.
The Hotel: The room was nice, the employees were friendly, and best of all, I didn’t leave the place from the moment we checked in until the moment we checked out. Now, it may seem that going to Manhattan and staying indoors was a waste of time, but I assure you, it was not. The sensory minefield of the drive was sufficient for a first outing, thank you, so I decided to make the best of my time at the hotel. I finished incorporating all the review comments into my book, I caught up on my ASL homework, and I made great strides on a sweater I’m knitting for Bob. Plus, the hotel had an awesome fitness room, and I was the only person in it for over two hours. I actually found a way to have solitude in New York City! I should write a book.
And did I mention that Tuesday was our seventh wedding anniversary? It was! So, we ordered in dinner from room service, chose a movie to watch, and…that’s as much as I’m going to say.
The Impact of the World at Large: During the time that we were in New York, the people of Massachusetts made a terribly asinine an ill-advised decision and decided to honor the memory of Ted Kennedy by electing a man who ran on a platform of derailing healthcare reform in the Senate. And what was worse: Every time I went onto the Comcast website to retrieve my email, I had to see a headline about it. Arghh. So, although I knew that I couldn’t cure the insanity overturn the will of the people of Massachusetts, I could do a couple of things to make myself feel better: a) go on a news fast and b) install a desktop email client so that I never have to use Comcast webmail again EVER. I did both. More on how I dealt with the healthcare debacle later on.
The Drive Back to Vermont: After three days, we were very ready to go home. So, while Bob walked to the parking garage to get the car, I ensconced myself on a sofa in the hotel lobby—a sofa that was so big that when I sat all the way back, my feet dangled over the edge of the cushions. I felt like a little kid in a room full of grownups—kind of how I feel all the time, except that this time, I felt very cute. The lobby also got noisy, so it was a relief to get in the car and head back to our quiet lives in Vermont. We left in sunlight and arrived home just as it was getting dark.
My Healthcare Reform Rant: By the time we got home, I was a wee bit very much on the overstimulated side. I was talking a blue streak, bouncing off the walls, unpacking like it was the last thing I’d ever do, and feeling really, really happy and energetic for the first time in a long time. I hadn’t been depressed exactly, but protecting myself from the possibility of overload had left me feeling isolated, and the trip to New York had made me feel like part of the world again. I finally realized (duh) that I don’t have to conform to anything (duh) except the laws of wherever I happen to be (duh), and that I can indulge my eccentricity any old way I please (duh), especially (duh) in the comfort of my own home.
So, because I was royally pissed off by the whole disaster in Massachusetts, I decided to expend some of my rather impressive store of nervous energy by indulging in the following rant:
“What the HELL were people thinking? How can they NOT know how badly this country needs healthcare reform? Are they crazy? What the hell happened?
Oh, I know. They let children vote in Massachusetts. Children. Well, actually, people of legal age with the mental acuity and social consciousness of children.
But wait. That’s an insult to little kids. In fact, I can’t compare these people to anyone, because they’re being so mind-numbingly ridiculous that any comparison to any other group of people would be unfair. I mean, how do you describe people who think that if they get sick, their insurance company is going to cover the costs? And not raise their premiums? Hahahahahahahaha! What planet are these people on?
And how the HELL did Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat end up in the hands of a person whose only aim in life (apart from looking perpetually young) is to derail healthcare reform? I mean, do people have ANY respect for Ted Kennedy’s legacy, for the way he supported the working person, for the passion he felt about healthcare reform? HELLO? ANYONE? Holy shit. I hope they issue an alert for the area around Arlington National Cemetery, because right now, Ted Kennedy is SPINNING in his grave at such a high velocity that his burial place is sure to become the epicenter of a MASSIVE EARTHQUAKE. Maybe then, all those folks in Congress will WAKE UP to the need for universal health care.
But wait! They already have universal health care. Paid for by the US government! Oh. My. God. It’s socialized healthcare. For Republicans. Can the hypocrisy get any worse?
Yes, it can. The Democrats in Massachusetts can blame everyone and everything for their defeat, but last time I looked, Martha Coakley, the freakin’ attorney general of the state, never even ran a freakin’ campaign. What was she THINKING? That the ghost of Ted Kennedy was going to anoint her the Senator from Massachusetts?
Martha, honey. It doesn’t work like that. DUH!! How can you be the attorney general of the state and NOT KNOW THAT???”
I felt better.
The Day After: I went to work at the thrift store. I was friendly. I made conversation. I extended myself. I brought home a quilt to repair. I was still pretty buzzed.
The Day After That: Bob and I discussed how much fun I am when I’m feeling energetic and inspired. And why people with autism so often get diagnosed as bi-polar. And how I really am fine the way I am, however I’m feeling. And that I don’t need to ask the world’s permission to be myself.
And Now? No crash and burn. At all. Just some tiredness and a sense of relaxation. Amazing, eh?
That’s what happens when I go out into the world and stop worrying about what people think of me.
© 2010 by Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg
it’s fun to have someone to be on the same page with so much of the time
i’m also in the process of reclaiming my strangeness. it seems to be taking a long time, and i feel caught between two worlds a lot of the time, but i need to do it. it feels great to have another companion on the journey (back to sanity)
You should never hid your eccentricities. It’s other people’s problems if they can’t/won’t deal with it, not yours. I have to learn this lesson as a parent of my son almost daily, when I feel judged over disapproving stares because my 3-year-old autistic son is having a breakdown.
But I’m glad you had a positive experience, you seem at ease and regenerized in this post.
Hey, just a friendly face from MASSACHUSETTS checking in!! Glad that you had a nice vacation in NY!!
Rachel, I am so happy to read that you made the trip. My husband commented in your previous post that it is important to live your life to the fullest on your terms!!
I think the people of Masachusetts are just pissed off about how much the Boston tunnel cost. I heard that it would have been cheaper to move Boston. P.S. I fully share your enthusiasm for eccentricity, sometimes that buzz can make me feel as though I have just re-invented the wheel–and that’s without any narcotics!
Yay Rachel, way to go ! So pleased that your trip out worked amazingly.
As the healthcare reform, don’t know how people of Massachusetts voted how they voted. In the UK we have NHS aka universal healthcare. I do prefer this, even if it means that we cannot always afford as a society the most expensive medicine/treament for all illnesses. Generally if you are ill, you get treated. And children’s prescriptions are free for the good measure, which I applaud. I know that there has been some examples of our NHS in the US showing how it doesn’t work as well as your system, but I bet that if you let an average Briton and average American choose they probably choose NHS. And if we are talking about people with low incomes this should be a no brainer..
What I like about the Aspie world is that eccentricity is the norm.
No one should have to feel awkwardly selfconscious about being themselves!
I also love people who feel passionately about social justice issues- it’s really beautiful when people really care about the welfare of others beyond their immediate family.
It’s going to be the Jewish birthday for the trees soon. Perhaps your body might be feeling the rising of the sap.
I know I’m sounding all new-agey, but I’m being serious. I know that I’m sensitive to the moon (I find it hard to fall asleep if there’s a full moon), but perhaps some Aspies are also sensitive to seasonal/gravitational changes, and it affects energy/hormonal levels etc.
Jennifer- I think it interesting that mention being sensitive to the moon. My husband swears that being an Aspie is very much a sensory “disorder” than social. (I hate using the word disorder). I absolutely believe what you say in regard to that. I think it is amazing and I wish I could be open to feel the influences of nature.
I think that my daughter has NVLD. She definitely has sensory issues too, but it seems the rest is mostly learning issues. It takes a long time for her to automate learning anything unless she hears the spoken word- she doesn’t learn well through merely observing, for example.
I believe that it’s a combination of my and my husbands genes that have caused whatever it is she has (she is yet to be diagnosed- long waiting list). I find it hard to concentrate if there’s background noise, and I am able to hear very quiet sounds sometimes, which other people don’t notice. Some people can feel it if it’s going to rain. I think that there are sensitivities that even NT-ers have.