Comments on: As I Said to My Therapist… http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2010/02/07/as-i-said-to-my-therapist/ Ethics, Disability Rights, and Reports from Life on the Spectrum Tue, 07 Feb 2012 01:06:57 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Ullie http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2010/02/07/as-i-said-to-my-therapist/comment-page-1/#comment-75333 Ullie Tue, 16 Feb 2010 13:54:59 +0000 http://www.aspergerjourneys.com/?p=4295#comment-75333 I'm supposed to be NT (my son's an Aspie, and by the way, he's horrified at the reveal of "Aspie elitism" in some responses to the proposed DSM-V categories, but that's another story altogether) and I would like to say that I get very upset when my friends SAY they want to get together and then do nothing about it. I think it's rude, wasting my time, and it's hypocritical. I often end relationships with people who do that. So there you go. Just shows that not everything in society that seems stupid or hypocritical to Aspies is because of the Asperger's -- a lot of it is because a lot of people are lazy and hypocritical from anyone's view! AND when I run into a friend and ask them how they are, it's because I want to know, actually. I’m supposed to be NT (my son’s an Aspie, and by the way, he’s horrified at the reveal of “Aspie elitism” in some responses to the proposed DSM-V categories, but that’s another story altogether) and I would like to say that I get very upset when my friends SAY they want to get together and then do nothing about it. I think it’s rude, wasting my time, and it’s hypocritical. I often end relationships with people who do that. So there you go. Just shows that not everything in society that seems stupid or hypocritical to Aspies is because of the Asperger’s — a lot of it is because a lot of people are lazy and hypocritical from anyone’s view! AND when I run into a friend and ask them how they are, it’s because I want to know, actually.

]]> By: Chuck http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2010/02/07/as-i-said-to-my-therapist/comment-page-1/#comment-75322 Chuck Sun, 14 Feb 2010 16:58:09 +0000 http://www.aspergerjourneys.com/?p=4295#comment-75322 I've pretty much learned that most of that is meaningless chatter and I try to stay clear of it. I'll try to direct the conversation to a more concrete subject. Sometimes though people will say things like, "I'd like to come visit you and see your place." I tell them, "Great. May or October are good times. Not too cold, and not too hot." They say, "Fine. I'll call you." We may even talk about traveling times and what we'll do when they visit. Guess what? I never hear from them. And if I do hear from them again after many months, the "visit" conversation will repeat and of course I'll think this time they'll follow through, which of course they don't. I never tell people these sorts of things unless I'm willing to commit to doing it. I’ve pretty much learned that most of that is meaningless chatter and I try to stay clear of it. I’ll try to direct the conversation to a more concrete subject. Sometimes though people will say things like, “I’d like to come visit you and see your place.” I tell them, “Great. May or October are good times. Not too cold, and not too hot.” They say, “Fine. I’ll call you.” We may even talk about traveling times and what we’ll do when they visit. Guess what? I never hear from them. And if I do hear from them again after many months, the “visit” conversation will repeat and of course I’ll think this time they’ll follow through, which of course they don’t.

I never tell people these sorts of things unless I’m willing to commit to doing it.

]]> By: Rachel http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2010/02/07/as-i-said-to-my-therapist/comment-page-1/#comment-75220 Rachel Thu, 11 Feb 2010 19:41:26 +0000 http://www.aspergerjourneys.com/?p=4295#comment-75220 My therapist does make an effort to understand me, and all therapists will usher you out the door when your 50 minutes are up, so I don't fault him for that. I'm mainly realizing that there are two separate languages going on in every session--NT language and autistic language. Both seem to make use of English, but the words mean something different much of the time. My therapist does make an effort to understand me, and all therapists will usher you out the door when your 50 minutes are up, so I don’t fault him for that. I’m mainly realizing that there are two separate languages going on in every session–NT language and autistic language. Both seem to make use of English, but the words mean something different much of the time.

]]> By: Scott http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2010/02/07/as-i-said-to-my-therapist/comment-page-1/#comment-75217 Scott Thu, 11 Feb 2010 17:54:48 +0000 http://www.aspergerjourneys.com/?p=4295#comment-75217 The one that gets me, since so much of my communication is online, is "if you're ever in town, let us know and we'll get together," and then I announce I'm coming to town, and I hear nothing. I don't get that. I only suggest getting together with people I want to get together with, and think others do the same. The one that gets me, since so much of my communication is online, is “if you’re ever in town, let us know and we’ll get together,” and then I announce I’m coming to town, and I hear nothing. I don’t get that. I only suggest getting together with people I want to get together with, and think others do the same.

]]> By: Maria http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2010/02/07/as-i-said-to-my-therapist/comment-page-1/#comment-75216 Maria Thu, 11 Feb 2010 14:22:49 +0000 http://www.aspergerjourneys.com/?p=4295#comment-75216 Dear Rachel, I love what you said to your therapist and I don't understand why most aspies always think that their feelings are wrong and that they have to adapt to everybody else. Not you are socially inept, but the social ritual of neurotypical persons is absurd. Why should I ask a person how she is, if I am not interested in hearing what she has to tell me? It is not sufficient that a therapist is just nice. First of all he must do an effort to understand you and he must care of your feelings and not just show you out of the house because time is up. Dear Rachel,

I love what you said to your therapist and I don’t understand why most aspies always think that their feelings are wrong and that they have to adapt to everybody else. Not you are socially inept, but the social ritual of neurotypical persons is absurd. Why should I ask a person how she is, if I am not interested in hearing what she has to tell me? It is not sufficient that a therapist is just nice. First of all he must do an effort to understand you and he must care of your feelings and not just show you out of the house because time is up.

]]> By: misfit http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2010/02/07/as-i-said-to-my-therapist/comment-page-1/#comment-75132 misfit Tue, 09 Feb 2010 13:33:11 +0000 http://www.aspergerjourneys.com/?p=4295#comment-75132 I can identify with the above, especially John's comment. I had to be told how to respond when people ask how I am [i.e., not to tell them how I really was feeling]. I still forget sometimes though... but at least I can now usually recognize that it has rubbed people the wrong way, so I can try to smooth things over. I can identify with the above, especially John’s comment. I had to be told how to respond when people ask how I am [i.e., not to tell them how I really was feeling]. I still forget sometimes though… but at least I can now usually recognize that it has rubbed people the wrong way, so I can try to smooth things over.

]]> By: John Dale Lyons http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2010/02/07/as-i-said-to-my-therapist/comment-page-1/#comment-75105 John Dale Lyons Mon, 08 Feb 2010 22:00:14 +0000 http://www.aspergerjourneys.com/?p=4295#comment-75105 I now do the social ritual, although I chafe at the absurdity, too. In the past, when people asked me how I was, I told them honestly and in detail. Little did I know I was boring them because they didn't give a sh*t. I now do the social ritual, although I chafe at the absurdity, too. In the past, when people asked me how I was, I told them honestly and in detail. Little did I know I was boring them because they didn’t give a sh*t.

]]> By: bluedancer http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2010/02/07/as-i-said-to-my-therapist/comment-page-1/#comment-75096 bluedancer Mon, 08 Feb 2010 19:36:01 +0000 http://www.aspergerjourneys.com/?p=4295#comment-75096 :D :D it's so familiar. thank you for the smile. will be seeing my (not-educated-about-AS) therapist at four. am (slightly) anxious. i hope if we have such an exchange---and it's likely we will :)---it will go as well. :D :D it’s so familiar. thank you for the smile. will be seeing my (not-educated-about-AS) therapist at four.
am (slightly) anxious. i hope if we have such an exchange—and it’s likely we will :) —it will go as well.

]]> By: LizzieK8 http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2010/02/07/as-i-said-to-my-therapist/comment-page-1/#comment-74986 LizzieK8 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 12:58:44 +0000 http://www.aspergerjourneys.com/?p=4295#comment-74986 You ARE so not the one with the problem! Great piece and again you've hit the nail squarely on the head! You ARE so not the one with the problem! Great piece and again you’ve hit the nail squarely on the head!

]]> By: e http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2010/02/07/as-i-said-to-my-therapist/comment-page-1/#comment-74924 e Mon, 08 Feb 2010 05:22:39 +0000 http://www.aspergerjourneys.com/?p=4295#comment-74924 “How the HELL can you people live like this? Do you think you have an unlimited amount of TIME on this planet? Do you not realize that life is too SHORT to fill it by talking all sorts of GARBAGE that you don’t really MEAN? I’m sorry to have to say this, but I am SO not the one with the problem here.” That's great!! I love it. “How the HELL can you people live like this? Do you think you have an unlimited amount of TIME on this planet? Do you not realize that life is too SHORT to fill it by talking all sorts of GARBAGE that you don’t really MEAN? I’m sorry to have to say this, but I am SO not the one with the problem here.”

That’s great!! I love it.

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