In his April 7, 1981 New York Times obituary, Dr. Leo Kanner was quoted on his views regarding the psychological profession and the difficulties it poses for parents. The following is an excerpt from the obituary. (You can find the full text here.)
”There is no raid shelter from the verbal bombs that rain on contemporary parents,” Dr. Kanner, who was known in psychiatric circles as the father of child psychology, wrote in a book in 1941.
”At every turn they run up against weird words and phrases which are apt to confuse and scare them no end: Oedipus complex, inferiority complex, maternal rejection, sibling rivalry, conditioned reflex, schizoid personality, repression, regression, blah-blah, blah-blah and more blah-blah.”
The book was ”In Defense of Mothers.” He subtitled it ”How to Bring Up Children in Spite of the More Zealous Psychologists.” In the book he urged mothers ”to regain that common sense which is yours, which has been yours before you allowed yourselves to be intimidated by would-be omniscient totalitarians.”
“Would-be omniscient totalitarians.” I didn’t say it. Dr. Kanner did. So, the next time an expert tells you that he or she can foretell your autistic child’s entire future, or tries to sell you a treatment, or an outlook, or a judgment that seems altogether wrong to you, feel free to quote Dr. Kanner. Especially the part about the “blah-blah, blah-blah and more blah-blah.”
And then go home and enjoy your kid.
© 2010 by Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg
Well said. You have made a great point here.
Way back in 1945, when I was born, the *experts* said that babies should be feed on a four hour schedule. My mother wanted the very best for me and followed their advice. She told me it would break her heart to have to hold me and rock me, waiting for the clock to show that a full four hours had passed since my last feeding, while I screamed with hunger pains.
When my kids were born, it was all about feeding on demand. My mother was so relieved to see this change.
We need to recognize that fashions come and go, and be on our guard to not get swept up in whatever the latest fad may be.
I like that title: “In Defense of Mothers.” It seems like this country has not progressed much since that book was written – as a mother in 2010, I feel so blamed so much of the time. Overwhelmed by the expectations. I think it has something to do with the nuclear family, as well as, of course, sexism. It seems that in Latin America, people are taught to see all the things that mothers do right, instead of all the things that we supposedly do wrong. The psychological and mental health profession in this country actually hurts rather than helps. I think that when you have an extended family and a sense of community responsibility for all children, individual mothers don;t get this same type of pressure and blame. I have been wondering if autistic mothers in other cultures do not feel as burdened. From my observation of Dominican and other Latino families, I don’t thank the pressure is the same. Mothers are not so isolated, are not held responsible for every thing the way we are here. Sometimes a s a way to alleviate the pressure, I try to imagine that I live in a different culture, where all the good things I do as a mother are celebrated. I can picture it and feel it – it feels really really good.
Did the New York Times obituary really say “bla-bla, blah-blah and more blah-blah”?
Yes, Alain, the obituary quotes Dr. Kanner as having said just that. I’ve updated the post to include a link to the full text.
Thanks. Sorry, I got confused because I originally read this entry in an RSS feed (which I receive as an email) and the indenting was lost: I couldn’t tell where the quote ended and your comment started. Going forward, I’ll always click on the link to read your blog instead.
That’s no problem, Alain. I’ll take care to provide a link next time, just in case others are reading my posts via RSS.