All of you lovely and supportive parents who commented on my last post made me feel so much less alone. You were unfailingly respectful and affirming, and you extended yourselves without defensiveness. You understood that my intent, now and always, is never to deny anyone’s grief and pain, but to ask for sensitivity and respect regarding how, when, and where those feelings are expressed and manifested. The nuanced levels of feeling that derive both from being Autistic and from parenting Autistic children are not lost on any of us, and I’m so glad that we were able to have such a great discussion.
This morning, I decided to replace my list of “Autism Blogs” with two lists. One is called “Autist Blogs,” and it contains links to blogs by Autistic people that I regularly read. The other is called “Positive Autism Parenting Blogs,” and it contains links to autism parent blogs that have felt safe for me to enter. The divide between Autists and parents can feel very deep and wide, but I’m determined to help bridge it by highlighting blogs that I feel do an excellent job of balancing the challenges of parents with respect for Autistic people. As you’ll see, because some parents are also Autistic, some blogs appear in both lists.
Of course, every reader will want to make a personal determination about whether a site feels safe or not. We all have different sensitivities. The blogs I’ve listed are the ones that appeal to mine.
If you know of other positive and affirming autism parent blogs, please leave a link in the Comments section. Because I filter comments that contain links, your message will be moderated (or go to spam), but never fear! If you provide a link to a blog that feels right to me, I will retrieve and post it.
Thank you all for being out there.
© 2011 by Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg
Wow – I just read this and your last post (we’ve been moving across the country, so I’ve been out of touch!). I so hear what you are saying. I feel as though I went through stages of grief with my C, but not because I wanted or expected him to be perfect (he is perfect). For me, I just knew he was in for a lot of struggles with other people in his life, and that makes me sad. I hate seeing other kids pick on him or tease him. BUT, I also quickly came to realize that if I could just be his safe place to fall, it would go a long way. I just want everyone to see in him what I see – I think the problem is with other kids, not with my own.
I would like to hope that other parents mean this when they say they are grieving when going through a diagnosis of a child. I’d like to think they are grieving because they know the path will be challenging – and they are worried their parenting skills won’t be good enough – as opposed to thinking their child has something desperately “wrong” with them. I know that’s not always the case…I plan to keep working to educate other parents who are new to this amazing journey, and, as always, thank you for your perspective.
Thank you, Darcy. Hope you’re settling in!
Whew! I made a list!!! Thanks!!! And know that yours was one of the first, and remains one of the most personally influential blogs I read.
Thanks for being you Rachel.
Thank you, Laura! I check in on your blog each day, and I look forward to it. You write with such humor and integrity.
Rachel you are a lady after my own heart. It breaks my heart to see parents talk about their children this way. I get that people go through shock and aren’t sure what life will hold but you still have your baby and they are capable of so much.
I have always seen my son as an amazing individual he constantly surprises me and teaches me and I love getting a new perspective on the world as I try to see the world through his eyes.
There are times that I want to cry because things are hard for him (and to a lesser extent me) but more times I am in awe of him and everything he does. He makes me laugh lots too. It is the same with my NT son also. Life is full of challenges and triumphs and as a family we will make it.
I want to thank you for putting this list of positive parenting blogs out there I am always interested in finding new information and perspectives that may help me in my journey with my son.
Hope this makes sense. I only just woke up and I am not sure I am at my best but I wanted to thank you before the day gets away from me.
Hi Catherine,
Thank you so much for your words. They make beautiful, perfect sense!
Thank you for including my blog on the list, Rachel.
Thank you for all that you do, Kim!
Rachel,
I’m sorry I haven’t stopped by sooner. As you know I’ve been reading and loving your comments on Laura’s blog for a while now. I agree that parents need to be respectful and grateful for the wonderful child they do have. I also understand the initial sadness and fears. I worried initially about how hard her life would be especially when we were dealing with the effects of the aftermath of the bullying. However, I now truly believe she can accomplish anything. I am also totally impressed with how hard she works. I wish the world were a more tolerant place for everyone with any kind of difference. I’m trying to do my small part to help make that happen.
Much Aloha,
Sue
Hiya, Sue!
Making the world a more tolerant place is a goal very close to my heart, so I’m always glad to hear from others making a difference where they are.
It’s wonderful to see you here. I’ve enjoyed your comments on Laura’s blog, too!
Hi Rachel,
It’s an honour to be on your blogroll.
Thanks for the great work you do here.
You are making this world a better place!
Bruce
The honor is all mine, Bruce. I love the honesty and spirit of your writing.
I just saw my blog on your list too. What an honor. The fact that you consider my blog a safe place means so much. I try. Reading your post about the other sites made me think a lot. I think we’ve seen in the past week how important our words are, and how we need to treat each other with respect. Thank you for the reminder again.
alysia
Thank you for doing such a great job with your blog, Alysia. And I agree, the events of the past week really bring home the message of how much we need to push back against destructive language. The events in Tucson are an extreme example, but there’s a lot to be learned by looking at these kinds of situations and applying them to everday experiences. Certainly, the words that people use have a life-changing impact, for good or ill.
Dear Rachel,
Thank you so much for including me on your blog lists. It’s been a privilege getting to know you, and I am so glad you consider my blog to be a safe place.
I am embarrassingly behind on my blog reading. I am very happy to have some time now to spend some time here with your wrting that always makes me think and gives me hope.
Love and Peace,
Diane
Thanks, Diane! Don’t worry about being late. I appreciate your comments whenever they come in.
Thanks for including me on the list! I am humbled and honored!
Thanks for the list. Having aspergers syndrome myself I find it interesting to have a look through accounts by other people with this. So thanks for making your autists blog list.
Hi Rachel, i’m relatively new to the blogging world and blog about lots of topics that interest or affect me including being a single foster parent of a little guy who is on the spectrum. He’s been with me since he was newborn and is in my longterm care. I never went through a diagnosis based grieving process and not because he is not my bio child, but because he has vision issues and we were participating in early intervention activities from a very early age so by the time he was 3 and being assessed for diagnosis I didn’t really care if he got the diagnosis or not. As far as I was concerned he is who he is and a decision by a doctor would not change that. Of course there are days when I have my challenges, my tears and my fears, but he is just a wonderful little human being who I love and who loves me.
Thanks for your insight and a great parent blog list.