In response to people who tell me that I’m too angry at the ways in which autistic and otherwise disabled people are treated, all I can say is: I’m not angry. I’m not having a personal feeling that I need to resolve. No. I’m outraged. I’m having an ethical response to a society that needs to right its wrongs. I’ve been outraged all my life at injustice and needless suffering, and I always will be. I consider it an ethical obligation of the highest order.
© 2011 by Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg
Rachel,
You are a kinder person than I. I am outraged and have an ethical response. I am also angry and have a visceral response. The indifference that the majority of society displays to the disabled rages my soul, by body, my mind, my ego and my spirit at the very core of the cellular level. I have no problem with being branded angry.
The needless suffering is caused by human indifference, by the bystanders. Active hatred can be battled, indifference is invisible, a sin and a punishment. Venting is good for my soul.
They say that about anyone who points out a civil rights violation– gender, orientation, race, class, etc. please stop being so angry…just shut up and sit down. There. Now who’s angry.
I want to marry this comment and have it’s babies.
yup, I’ve heard that more times that I can count, and on several topics. translation (some of the time): “You’re making me uncomfortable, please stop.” I suppose, and attempt to put us in our places. How DARE you point out injustice or unfairness?!
I mean, I’m not a child, I understand that life is impersonal and uncaring about how fair or unfair my life is. I do get tired of it being pointed out to me the world is not fair, but is it not a better place for the struggle to minimize unfairness? Geez, sorry for wanting beter for myself and others.
Is it my AS empathy impairment that I don’t always care that I’m making someone ill at ease? Certainly, this does not help my poor socialization one bit.
And I agree with Phil, you’re much kinder than me, Rachel.
You’ve heard of a “left-handed compliment”? Well, I got a left-handed Christmas card from the slightly older couple who live next door in this triplex where I live. On the front is a “painting” of a boy and his beagle pup, and the boy has a sled full of wreaths or something on the sled he’s pulling. On the inside, the pre-printed message is – “May you never lose that child-like wonder.”
See, the guy is a retired psychologist who used to work in the local high school, and is aware of my Dx. I’ve tried to explain to him, but he’s not about to change his outdated (and misinformed) “knowledge” on the subject. I have several other small complaints about this guy, but the problem is, he was friends with my landlord’s (now deceased) father, a relationship that goes back 40 years.
I’m going to be having a problem here.
Amen. And to anyone else who says this to you–they’re not angry enough. We shouldn’t be accepting of things as they are when those things are so very clearly wrong. So shame on them and their indifference.
When I said, “I’m not angry,” I meant it tongue in cheek, as in “I’m not merely angry.” When you say you’re angry, people tend to see it as a personal flaw in need of fixing. When you say you’re outraged, you’re saying you’re angry at something in society in need of fixing. To me, that’s the difference. It’s basically the same feeling, but using the word outrage forces the other person to deal with the source “out there.”
Anger, when channelled constructively is the greatest motivator for social change. Apathy is not. Anger has an important human function, which is why we have it. The only time anger becomes a problem is when it clouds reason. Anyone who accuses you of being “too angry” has obviously lost reason themselves without the benefit of anger. Poor them.
I agree. I’ve wondered since my teens whether my fellow Canadians reacted so badly to (what I felt) were my mild expressions of frustration or anger, was due to a fear or distaste for their own feelings. It is possible to feel angry and not lose reason.
I like having a way of naming what becomes of the personal quality of anger, with its initial cloud of unreason, when it changes into the well grounded state that can follow those inchoate feelings. I think Rachel is right re “outrage” having that connotation. Sometimes when I become articulate again after the cloud of unreason abates, rather often even, I find I’m in the wrong as much as or more than the other person … But that is always face to face, and personal, and it can take ages to work out what has been the cause. The transition from being blown away by upset to feeling justified outrage is much faster when it is not a personal issue, and this transmuted anger is a fantastic energiser.
I see nothing wrong with anger when directed appropriately. Anger over social bias, stigma, and discrimination is entirely understandable. Ed Roberts embraced his anger and look at what he accomplished before laws such as the ADA conceived.
There’s nothing wrong with being angry, when being angry is warranted. The matter is in how you respond.
While I haven’t stalked everything you’ve ever done–because that would just be creepy–your anger and your outrage are often handled with excellent skill and restraint. You act, but you act in productive ways.
To those who say you’re too angry… That seems like a defense response to me. You’ve reached them, but they’re rejecting your message because they don’t want to face the internal dissonance or change their behavior. It’s easier to dismiss injustice as irrelevant than it is to face up to it and change–even if all it takes is a change of heart and a change of action.