Archive for Myths about Autism

A Critique of the Empathy Quotient (EQ) Test: Conclusion

When I first began writing this critique, I tried to take the EQ test, and I found myself so stymied by it that I gave up. As a person who arrives at the “big picture” by putting together all the details, I find it maddening to be asked to respond to statements that are completely out of context. How I am to respond to a statement like “I don’t tend to find social situations confusing”? My mind visualizes a great number of social situations, and questions like the following arise:

What social situations?
How many people are there?
Are they all talking at once, or one at a time?
Do I know them?
Do I feel safe with them?
Do they know that I need extra time to respond?
Is there ambient noise?
Are people only engaging in small talk, or does the gathering have a focus?
Are there mostly autistic people or non-autistic people there?
How far did I need to travel to get to the gathering?
How tired am I?
How long does the gathering go on?
How much clutter is there in the room?
How many moving visuals are involved?
Will I have an opportunity to take breaks?
Will other people understand my need to take breaks?
If I get tired of talking, will people communicate with me using my text-to-text device?

It’s impossible for me to take all of the possible variations of a social situation implied by these questions and average them out in order to arrive at an answer. If you have a misunderstood disability like autism that makes you acutely sensitive to your environment, that requires you to work incredibly hard at things that other people take for granted, and that necessitates a great deal of time to rest and recharge, there are a huge number of variables that go into whether you end up feeling confused in a social situation. But the statements on the EQ test take none of that for granted; they come from the perspective of the able-bodied majority. There is no absolutely no perspective taking across neurological lines. None at all.

Moreover, the possible answers one can give to any of these questions are quite vague. For example, where does “Strongly agree” end and “Slightly agree” begin? To my mind, there is a long continuum between the two, and most of the varied social contexts that come to mind when I read each of the statements would require an answer all along that continuum. If, by some miracle, I could take all the varied social contexts in which I’ve found myself and average them out to arrive at something representative of my experiences, chances are that my response would end up somewhere on the continuum between “Strongly agree” and “Slightly agree” (or between “Strongly disagree” and “Slightly disagree”), and I’d have no way to provide the proper answer.

Of course, the EQ test was not put together with a view to the ways in which autistic people see, process, and experience the world, nor does it consider failures on the part of the non-autistic majority to understand our feelings, perspectives, and experiences to be failures of cognitive and emotional empathy. And so, compared to our non-autistic counterparts, we tend to score rather poorly on the test, with potentially devastating results in the real world.

For an idea of these results, let’s look again at Karla McLaren’s question to Professor Baron-Cohen, in which she delineates the difference between her impression of autistic people after reading work based on his theories, and the impression she came away with after meeting autistic people in person:

I have a question about the hypothesis that people on the Autism Spectrum lack empathy. went into a job supporting college-aged Spectrum students, and I read everything I could get my hands on — most of which follows your hypothesis about low empathy and incomplete or missing theory of mind. From all these books, I thought I knew the kind of people I’d meet, but I didn’t see a lack of empathy — rather, I saw people who were often overwhelmed by incoming stimuli and who had a very hard time organizing and understanding emotional cues. I’ve since worked with many Spectrum people, and I really think the theory is leading the data-gathering.

Is it possible that people on the autism spectrum actually have a normal range of capacity for empathy, but are often overwhelmed and unable to organize incoming emotional and social stimuli?

What I saw was that labeling Autism Spectrum people as unempathic obscures deeper inquiry. Sadly, that label also helps people treat Spectrum folks as aliens. The lack of understanding I saw “neurotypicals” show for Spectrum people made me ask: “Just who is the unempathic person here?”

Now, let us consider Professor Baron-Cohen’s response in the light of his own definitions of empathy. He begins by saying:

Certainly, the idea of portraying or treating people on the autistic spectrum as if they were aliens is abhorrent.

I’m certainly glad to hear that he feels this way, but of course, his response fails to take into account Karla’s suggestion that his own work has been at least partially responsible for this state of affairs. He says that treating autistics like aliens is abhorrent, and yet, he wrote in his 2001 paper Theory of mind in normal development and autism:

A theory of mind remains one of the quintessential abilities that makes us human (Whiten, 1993). By theory of mind we mean being able to infer the full range of mental states (beliefs, desires, intentions, imagination, emotions, etc.) that cause action. In brief, having a theory of mind is to be able to reflect on the contents of one’s own and other’s minds. Difficulty in understanding other minds is a core cognitive feature of autism spectrum conditions. The theory of mind difficulties seem to be universal among such individuals.” (Baron-Cohen, 3)

Is it any wonder that people who read words like these treat us like aliens? And is simply saying that such treatment is abhorrent an appropriate emotional response to being told that your work may be causing others to dehumanize autistic people? It rather misses the point, I think.

He goes on:

I also think your point that people on the autistic spectrum are ‘overwhelmed by incoming stimuli’ is very important, since the implication is that under the right conditions, people with autism would show no empathy difficulties at all, if the incoming stimuli were not overwhelming. On this view, any empathy difficulties might be secondary to difficulties due to the rate of information processing.

No, professor, not might. Replace the word might with are, and we might be getting somewhere. Using might betrays a spectacular failure of perspective taking. After all, what have so many autistics, parents, occupational therapists, and specialists been saying, so many times, in so many ways, for so many years? And why does Professor Baron-Cohen not have the cognitive empathy to understand that yes, definitely, difficulties in the rate of information processing — along with other factors, internal and external, having nothing to do with empathy at all — account for why we have difficulties with conventional expressions of empathy in real time? Could it be that, like us, he has difficulty understanding experiences different from his own?

And why, oh why, does this line of thought appear in a Q&A session in Google+, and not in his latest book The Science of Evil (known in the UK as Zero Degrees of Empathy), in which he insists that autistic people are on the zero end of the empathy scale? Given that the quality of life for so many millions of people is potentially at stake, wouldn’t a book on the subject of empathy be an “appropriate” place to speak to the issue in a nuanced way?

The professor continues:

I have some sympathy for this view, because I have met many adults with Asperger Syndrome who can cope with one-to-one relationships and are very caring within these, and only find it difficult when they have to process information in fast-changing social groups. Equally, I have met many adults with Asperger Syndrome who can display their excellent empathy when they have the “luxury” of considering all the facts “off-line”, that is, when there is less time pressure creating demands to respond in real time.

Anyone else notice the sleight-of-hand here? Karla asked about people on the spectrum — not just people with Asperger’s. Personally, I don’t find it an appropriate emotional response to turn the conversation toward a subgroup of a subgroup, when the question was about all autistic people, and when Karla was expressing her concerns about the dehumanization of all autistic people.

As for his comment that people with Asperger’s Syndrome can “display their excellent empathy when they have the ‘luxury’ of considering all the facts ‘off-line,’” using the word “luxury” here, even in quotes, is highly prejudicial. It implies that we are asking for some sort of special treatment when we need the time and the space to understand the intensity of our experiences. It’s not a luxury to process the facts off-line; because of the rush of sensory and emotional stimuli, it is a physical necessity. For the professor to call it a “luxury” is like calling a wheelchair a luxury for someone who can’t walk. It derives from an inability to put himself in the shoes of autistic people and understand the ways in which we experience the world

Professor Baron-Cohen concludes his answer with the following:

These ideas also suggest new lines of research that the autism research community could follow up.

We’re suffering out here, every day, from the lack-of-empathy trope, and his response is that perhaps, someday, the researchers need to follow up? From where I sit, that response is not emotionally appropriate. It’s not even close.

After all, we’re not just research subjects. We’re not just fascinating objects of study. We’re human beings who suffer from assaults on our humanity.

Certainly, we deserve a more empathetic response.

© 2011 by Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg

A Critique of the Empathy Quotient (EQ) Test: Part 3

In Part 1 of this series, I outlined the basics of the EQ test, introduced the definition of cognitive empathy assumed by the authors of the test, and critiqued the statements on the EQ test that speak to how well the respondent can read nonverbal cues. In Part 2, I talked about the problematic nature of the statements that measure perspective taking.

In this part, I will speak to the statements that measure emotional/affective empathy.

Definitions
Baron-Cohen and Wheelwright define emotional/affective empathy as “an observer’s emotional response to the affective state of another.” (Baron-Cohen and Wheelwright, 164) They go on to define three categories of empathy relevant to the EQ test:

    • The feeling in the observer must match that of the person observed (e.g., you feel fright when you see someone else’s fear; Eisenberg & Miller, 1987; Hoffman, 1984).
    • The feeling in the observer is simply appropriate to the other person’s emotional state in some other way, even though it doesn’t exactly match it (e.g., you may feel pity at someone else’s sadness; Stotland, 1969).
    • The feeling in the observer must be one of concern or compassion to another’s distress (Batson, 1991).

All three categories foreground the appropriateness of the viewer’s emotional response; of course, the question of what constitutes an appropriate emotional response is an important one, to which I will return.

Statements that measure emotional empathy
On the EQ test, 13 statements deal solely with the appropriateness of emotional response while leaving aside the question of how the observer arrives at an understanding of the mental or emotional state of the other person:

6. I really enjoy caring for other people.
12. Friendships and relationships are just too difficult, so I tend not to bother with them.
18. When I was a child, I enjoyed cutting up worms to see what would happen.
28. If anyone asked me if I liked their haircut, I would reply truthfully, even if I didn’t like it.
32. Seeing people cry doesn’t really upset me.
34. I am very blunt, which some people take to be rudeness, even though this is unintentional.
37. When I talk to people, I tend to talk about their experiences rather than my own.
38. It upsets me to see an animal in pain.
39. I am able to make decisions without being influenced by people’s feelings.
42. I get upset if I see people suffering on news programmes.
43. Friends usually talk to me about their problems as they say that I am very understanding.
50. I usually stay emotionally detached when watching a film.

59. I tend to get emotionally involved with a friend’s problems.

As far as I can tell, the only statement in this list that shows a pure lack of empathy is number 18; cutting up a worm just to see what will happen (as opposed to, say, slaughtering a chicken in order to eat it) really can’t be explained away as anything other than unempathetic in the extreme.

But for me, all the rest are quite troubling, because they all assume “normal” situations that exclude, overwhelm, or evoke non-normative responses in autistic people. The situations falls into three categories:

    • For reasons deriving from lack of empathy on the part of non-autistic people, or from difficulties in communication and information processing on the part of autistic people, the situation may be one that an autistic person cannot enter at all.
    • The nature of the situation may trigger such an intense experience of emotional empathy that the autistic person needs to shut down.
    • The response considered “appropriate” to the situation tends to work better for non-autistic people than for autistic people.

Contexts that may not be open to autistic people at all. Statements 6, 12, and 43 assume environments from which autistic people are often excluded.

Statement 6: When posed with a statement about whether the respondent enjoys caring for people, an autistic person’s response may very well be dictated by the fact that he or she may not have had many hands-on opportunities to do so. The settings in which these opportunities occur (hospitals, clinics, and the like) often present sensory and communication obstacles that other people are unwilling or unable to ameliorate. Moreover, autistic people are often kept away from such opportunities, precisely because of the stereotype that we lack empathy. An answer that derives from a lack of opportunity to care for people – an opportunity denied on the basis of the lack-of-empathy stereotype — will only reinforce that stereotype. After all, if you’re excluded from environments in which you can care for people, then you certainly can’t say that you enjoy doing so.

Statement 12: The feeling of wanting to give up on friendships and relationships can derive from a lifetime of bullying and exclusion, from having experienced a lack of empathy on the part of former partners and friends, or from auditory and communicative challenges that potential friends or partners are unwilling to deal with. It may have absolutely nothing to do with failures of empathy on the part of the autistic person.

Statement 43: Because of the auditory processing and communication challenges common to people with autism, many of us have difficulties with processing language and coming up with purposeful responses in real-time. These difficulties significantly lower the possibility that lots of people are going to come to us to talk about their problems. Most people want to talk face-to-face, rather than via text, a medium with which many of us feel more comfortable or use out of necessity.

Contexts in which autistic people shut down because of oversensitivity. Statements 32, 38, 39, 42, 50, and 59 all have to do with situations in which an autistic might need to shield because of an intensely felt experience. Seeing people cry, seeing an animal in pain, making decisions in the face of other people’s feelings, seeing people suffer on the news, watching a film with strong emotional content, and relating to a person with serious problems may be so painfully aversive that an autistic person might need to shut down.

We’re not talking here about a “normal” level of upset and difficulty. We’re talking about an acute experience of another person’s emotional state so intense that one has to detach in order to be of any use at all — to oneself or to anyone else.

An example: My daughter suffered a terrible betrayal this year at the hands of a friend whom she’d loved and trusted. Because she’s still in the process of healing, she still has moments of profound grief and pain. In those moments, I feel her grief and pain very intensely in my own mind and body, and I work very hard to keep them from levelling me. After all, my daughter needs me to be strong for her, not collapse in a sobbing heap on the floor.

I have seen some of the experts pathologize this level of sharing in the pain of another person, but the word “compassion” means “suffering with,” and that is exactly what I’ve done for as long as I can remember. Because I experience the emotions of others in this way, I try to choose carefully when and how to open myself up. I will always have an empathic response, often before I even consciously know what’s happening, but there are situations in which I will shut it down — sometimes instinctively, and sometimes consciously. For example, when I see a stranger crying at the grocery store, I might block my emotional response; it largely depends upon how long it’s been since I’ve entered into someone else’s strong emotional experience, whether or not I can physically remain in the auditory environment, and whether or not someone else in the situation is attending to the person. Certainly, if I allowed myself to respond in every single instance, there would be nothing left of me.

I’m not blocking the response because I lack empathy; to the contrary, I’m blocking it because my empathic experience is always so acute. If I have to shut down at times, it’s because I’m still learning how to take this gift and channel it properly in a world that has given me absolutely no guidance on how to do so — a world that, in fact, is oblivious to the fact that I even have this gift, or that sees it only in pathologizing terms.

Repression is a common response to overwhelming experience, and once a person enters into it, the defense mechanism becomes automatic and invisible. I’m old enough, and self-reflective enough, to understand the mechanism and to work around it. But there are an awful lot of people who have long since shut down their emotional responses as a defensive measure, who do not understand the process of repression, who have not yet been given the emotional language to put words to what is going on, and who have not yet encountered anyone who might be able to help them with the intensity of their experiences. Such people would very likely choose “Strongly disagree” in response to statements about whether they feel upset in the face of the pain of another being.

Contexts that engender responses considered inappropriate. Statements 28, 34, and 37 cover “inappropriate” responses to another person’s feelings. Two of them have to do with blunt honesty; the other has to do with whether a person talks about his or her own experiences, or listens to those of someone else.

As is true for most of the other statements on the EQ test, all of these statements assume a “normal” situation with “normal” people and “normal” expectations. And, of course, what “normal” people in “normal” situations experience and expect is not always what autistic people experience and expect.

For an autistic person talking to another autistic person, blunt honesty is usually the most appropriate response. In fact, I have autistic friends who absolutely insist on my being blunt. When they ask me a question, they want an honest answer. By the same token, when I ask my non-autistic husband a question, I honestly want to know what he thinks, largely because I don’t intuitively know how non-autistic people see me, and I very much want to find out.

In other words, I am almost always information gathering. I seldom, if ever, fish for compliments. So, for example, when I recently asked my husband whether he thought I was odd, I really wanted to know. And just as it’s very off-putting for a non-autistic person to hear the answer “Yes, I think you’re odd,” so it’s very off-putting for me when my husband ducks the question and keeps asking me why I’ve posed it in the first place.

It’s certainly important to learn the appropriate response for any given person; after all, most of us don’t want to go around hurting people’s feelings. So, when a non-autistic person asks me whether I like her haircut, I will generally respond in the affirmative, even if I don’t like it, in order to protect her feelings. Given my penchant for accuracy, I feel like I’m lying – which, of course, I am – but the falsehood would be considered an appropriate emotional response.

Of course, the test does not measure whether non-autistic people give an emotional response appropriate to an autistic person who asks the same sort of question. For many autistic people, honest responses are invaluable to our ability to navigate and to understand conventional social norms; when we don’t get honest responses, we can end up in situations in which we are shunned or bullied. So, for example, asking whether someone likes your haircut may be a way to find out whether your choice of style will open you to ridicule. Asking whether someone thinks you’re odd gives you some idea of what you might expect when you walk into a conventional social situation. When we ask honest questions, we often long for honest answers. Most people do not pick up that longing in any way, shape, or form.

In terms of talking about one’s own experiences in a conversation – I do that a lot. I don’t do it because I find my experiences utterly fascinating, or because I don’t care about other people’s experiences, or because I enjoy hearing myself talk. In fact, talking is usually very tiring for me. I do it mainly for the purpose of letting the other person know that he or she is not alone in the difficulty of the moment. In other words, I listen to the other person’s experience, and my sharing about my own life derives from an empathetic response.

Especially when speaking with an autistic person who has lived a lifetime thinking that no one in the entire world could possibly understand his or her experience, it’s very, very comforting for the other person when I share in these ways. So, if asked whether I tend to talk about my own experiences or listen to the other person’s experiences, I would answer, “Neither. I always try to provide space for both parties to tell their stories.” But of course, the test doesn’t provide me with an opportunity to give that answer.

Clearly, as is true for the rest of the EQ test, the statements measuring emotional empathy fail to consider life from the perspective of autistic experience, and so fail to measure the ways in which autistic people experience emotional empathy for others, and the ways in which non-autistic people fail to experience it on our behalf.

Next: In the Conclusion, I will share some thoughts about the general nature of the EQ test and its implications for autistic people.

© 2011 by Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg

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A Critique of the Empathy Quotient (EQ) Test: Part 2

In Part 1 of this series, I outlined the basics of the EQ test, introduced the definition of cognitive empathy assumed by the authors of the test, and critiqued the statements on the EQ that speak to how well the respondent can read nonverbal cues. In this post, I will talk about the problematic nature of the statements that measure perspective taking.

Statements that measure being able to see things from the perspective of another
Following are the 12 statements on the EQ test that primarily speak to perspective taking:

4. I find it difficult to explain to others things that I understand easily, when they don’t understand it first time.
11. It doesn’t bother me too much if I am late meeting a friend.
15. In a conversation, I tend to focus on my own thoughts rather than on what my listener might be thinking.
21. It is hard for me to see why some things upset people so much.
22. I find it easy to put myself in somebody else’s shoes.
25. I am good at predicting how someone will feel.
27. If I say something that someone else is offended by, I think that that’s their problem, not mine.
29. I can’t always see why someone should have felt offended by a remark.
36. Other people tell me I am good at understanding how they are feeling and what they are thinking.
48. Other people often say that I am insensitive, though I don’t always see why.

49. If I see a stranger in a group, I think that it is up to them to make an effort to join in.
60. I can usually appreciate the other person’s viewpoint, even if I don’t agree with it.

These statements measure the respondent’s ability to put himself or herself in someone else’s shoes. Statement 22 asks the question explicitly, but the idea that one can or should be able to walk in another person’s shoes underlies all the other statements in this category.

The difficulties of perspective-taking for both autistics and non-autistics
The ability to put oneself in another person’s shoes means being able to imagine the thoughts and feelings of the other person; to paraphrase Baron-Cohen and Wheelwright, it is rests on the ability to set aside one’s own perspective, to naturally imagine the sorts of responses a person might have to any given situation, and to make an intuitive judgment as to the content of the person’s mental state. In other words, being able to put oneself in another person’s shoes rests on having a proper ToM about the other person — to be able to reflect on the contents of another person’s mind, and to identify with the mental state of the other person as though it were one’s own.

This definition of ToM rests on the assumption that the people involved in an interaction experience the world in similar ways. After all, if you have never had a particular experience, you certainly don’t know what it feels like or how you would react; and if you experience emotion, cognition, and sensory stimuli in certain ways, you won’t be able to intuitively understand a person whose experience is wholly different. You might try to imagine what you would feel in a similar position, but all you would be doing is projecting yourself, from your own experience, into the experience of someone whose life and mode of perception are quite different.

Autistic people bear the brunt of this sort of projection all the time. For example, I have had people read my lack of eye contact as evidence that I am not listening to what they are saying, and that I am not interested in them. For non-autistic people, in non-autistic social situations, avoiding eye contact is, indeed, a sign of rudeness and lack of interest, rather than a physical necessity. And so, they assume that the reason I am not making eye contact is the same as the reason that they would not make eye contact.

In doing so, they are utterly failing to take my perspective. My reasons for avoiding eye contact are the polar opposite of theirs. For me, avoiding eye contact is, indeed, a physical necessity. I generally have to avoid eye contact in order to be able to process and understand what a person is saying. My auditory processing difficulties mean that I have to devote most of my energy to decoding and keeping up with speech, and I simply can’t afford to indulge myself in other forms of sensory processing; if I do, I will lose the meaning of what is being said. If I look in the person’s eyes, I am so distracted by the power of the soul that comes through them, by the emotion coming off the person’s face, and by the sheer intensity of my visual experience, that I cannot attend to the person’s words properly. So, when I am interested in what a person is saying, and when I feel moved to respond in an empathic way, I will look away from the person’s eyes and find something neutral and static to occupy my sight. My lack of eye contact is a sign that, in fact, the person has my undivided attention.

I have never once experienced having a non-autistic person intuitively take my perspective at these moments. I always have to explain my perspective with words.

On the whole, it’s very common for both non-autistic people and autistic people to believe, at some point, that everyone experiences the world in similar ways, and to assume that they therefore understand the perspective of another person. For example, I used to believe that everyone experienced sound as I do — loudly and with almost no filtering. I accounted for the fact that most people could converse in rooms with loud music — without getting irritable and exhausted — by telling myself that they simply had greater discipline, willpower, and maturity than I did. A false belief? Certainly. But such false beliefs also run in the opposite direction. In the same situations, no one understood that I experienced sound differently than they did. Based on that assumption, they were unable to see my perspective and respond to it appropriately. In fact, they often treated me as though I were being anti-social and not making a sufficient effort to enjoy myself.

Present research on autism and empathy is shot through with these failures in perspective taking. One such failure is the false belief that autistic people withdraw from social situations because we’re not interested in other people. Certainly, this may be true for some, but there are a number of other reasons that we withdraw — overstimulation, sensory overload, difficulty parsing spoken language in real-time, hyper-empathic awareness, exclusion, bullying, and so forth. And yet, non-autistic people often make the assumption that you enter a social situation because you’re interested in other people, and that you therefore withdraw from a social situation because you’re not. They then project that false belief onto us, and make the assumption that we withdraw from these situations for the same reasons they do. They’re unable to see life from the perspective of our experience of the world.

It’s also quite common for people to believe that a specific idea that is obvious to them is obvious to everyone else. For example, when I was teaching freshman English, I had to constantly remind some of my students to back up their opinions with supporting arguments. In response, they often said to me, “But it’s so obvious! Why do I have to explain it?” They had difficulty imagining that others could see the same issue in different terms. Frankly, I don’t see how autistic people could be total strangers to the idea that other people have perspectives different from our own; after all, the first time we are misunderstood, or told off, or bullied, or abused, or excluded, or dismissed, it becomes obvious that other people are coming from a wildly different place.

Biases in the perspective-taking statements of the EQ test
On the EQ test, what is the profile of the person whose perspective the respondent is asked to take? As in the section on nonverbal cues, it is assumed that the person observed is non-autistic and that the respondent should be able to take the perspective of the non-autistic person. A failure to do so contributes to a low empathy score. Of course, the test does not measure whether the respondent can take the perspective of an autistic person, nor does it assume that such a failure is a problem of empathy.

Take, for example, statement 36, “Other people tell me I am good at understanding how they are feeling and what they are thinking.” Who are these “other people”? They are, of course, the non-autistic majority. So, if you are in the non-autistic majority, it is far more likely that you are going to have other people tell you that you are good at understanding how they are feeling and thinking, because you share similar experiences and internal processes, and because there are simply more of you. On both counts, the odds that you are going to get it right increase significantly. And you will earn a higher empathy score as a result.

It is highly unusual for non-autistic people to tell autistic people that we are good at understanding how people are feeling and what they are thinking, which means that, regarding the statement at hand, an autistic person will earn a lower empathy score. Contrary to popular opinion, this state of affairs often does not derive from the failure of an autistic person to consider the perspective of someone else, but from projecting, as non-autistic people also do, from our own experiences. For example, I spent much of my life thinking that I understood how the majority experienced the world and trying to imagine all the different things that people might think, feel, and need. Based on my understanding, I went out of my way in my daily life to act with care and concern for other people, but was often told that I was getting it wrong — that they did not experience the situation as I did, and that they did not need what I thought they did. I was able to intuitively sense their emotions, but it grieved me that I was missing a sense of their perspective.

But now I understand. I was projecting how I operate, how I experience the world, and what I need onto people whose mode of processing is fundamentally different from mine, who experience the sensory and emotional worlds less acutely than I do, and who therefore have needs very different from my own. I tried to “do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” but it didn’t work — for the simple reason that, based on the ways in which I process information and experience my environment, what I need people to do for me is often the polar opposite of what they need me to do for them, under the very same conditions.

Before you suggest that I’ve just proven that autistic people lack empathy because we don’t intuitively understand the perspectives of “normal” people, let me point out two things:

a) Most “normal” people don’t intuitively understand the perspectives of autistic people, either. If they did, autism professionals wouldn’t need to run autism research projects, create EQ tests, speak at autism conferences, develop autism degree programs, or write books about autism, all in an effort to understand us and explain us to the non-autistic population.

b) Many autistic people work very hard to observe, to listen, to ask questions, and to understand the ways in which non-autistic people operate. Very few of us have consistently been the recipients of the same hard work from non-autistic people — which is the reason that, when I find a non-autistic person who wants to hear and understand my perspective, it’s a balm to my soul.

Underlying all the statements about perspective taking are a series of unequal assumptions. It is expected that “normal” folks should not be expected to easily understand autistic folks; this inability to intuitively “tune into” our perspectives, thoughts, and feelings is simply considered natural, and not evidence of an empathic failure. But the same rules do not apply to autistic people. It is expected that autistic folks should be able to easily understand “normal” folk. Our inability to intuitively “tune into” their perspectives, thoughts, and feelings is considered unnatural — evidence not simply of an empathic failure, but of a condition defined by empathic failure.

You’ll excuse me if this double standard does not sit well with me.

An example of the double standard is apparent in the following interchange between Karla McLaren and Professor Baron-Cohen that took place in a Q&A session sponsored by the Center for Building a Culture of Empathy and Compassion. Karla asked:

I have a question about the hypothesis that people on the Autism Spectrum lack empathy. I went into a job supporting college-aged Spectrum students, and I read everything I could get my hands on — most of which follows your hypothesis about low empathy and incomplete or missing theory of mind. From all these books, I thought I knew the kind of people I’d meet, but I didn’t see a lack of empathy — rather, I saw people who were often overwhelmed by incoming stimuli and who had a very hard time organizing and understanding emotional cues. I’ve since worked with many Spectrum people, and I really think the theory is leading the data-gathering.

Is it possible that people on the autism spectrum actually have a normal range of capacity for empathy, but are often overwhelmed and unable to organize incoming emotional and social stimuli ?

What I saw was that labeling Autism Spectrum people as unempathic obscures deeper inquiry. Sadly, that label also helps people treat Spectrum folks as aliens. The lack of understanding I saw “neurotypicals” show for Spectrum people made me ask: “Just who is the unempathic person here?”

Here, in part, is Professor Baron-Cohen’s response (I’ll be considering the rest of his response in Part 3):

You make an excellent point that empathy is a two-way street. So-called “neurotypicals” need to make an effort to understand what the world must be like for people on the autistic spectrum, and how to make people with autism spectrum conditions feel valued.

I find this statement to be quite interesting. There is absolutely no assumption that non-autistic people should be able to intuitively understand autistic folk. None at all. In order to come to an understanding about us, they “need to make an effort;” in fact, they are urged to do so. How exactly is making that effort any different from the ways in which autistic people must come to an understanding of non-autistics?

It’s not different in the least.

While Baron-Cohen acknowledges the need for greater emotional empathy and intellectual understanding on the part of the majority, he does not define the need of the majority to consciously and analytically understand our perspective — “what the world must be like for people on the autism spectrum” — as a failure of cognitive empathy. He simply assumes that it is natural that non-autistics would not naturally understand “what the world must be like” for us. The difficulty that “normal” people have in intuitively setting aside their own perspectives in favor of autistic perspectives, in intuitively understanding the sorts of responses an autistic person might have to any given situation, and in intuitively making a judgment as to the content of the autistic person’s mental state, is simply a given. After all, how could people possibly be expected to understand autism without the experts doing years of research and explaining it to them?

When autistic people lack the ability to intuitively understand what the world must be like for non-autistic people, it is a sign that we have a low-empathy condition. When non-autistic people lack this same ability regarding autistics, it is considered natural. It is on this double standard that the entire test rests.

Next: In Part 3, I will turn to the issue of emotional empathyl.

© 2011 by Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg

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A Critique of the Empathy Quotient (EQ) Test: Introduction and Part 1

Introduction
The Empathy Quotient (EQ) test was designed by Simon Baron-Cohen and Sally Wheelwright, and is included in their 2004 paper The Empathy Quotient: An Investigation of Adults with Asperger’s Syndrome or High-Functioning Autism, and Normal Sex Differences. It is frequently used as one of the primary measures of empathy in autistic people, and is often brought forward to support the twin contentions that a) autistic people have below-average levels of empathy and that b) autism is, by definition, a low-empathy condition.

The test consists of a series of 60 statements, to which the respondent must answer one of the following:

  • Definitely agree
  • Slightly agree
  • Slightly disagree
  • Definitely disagree

The resulting test scores are interpreted in the following ways:

  • 0 – 32 = low (most people with Asperger Syndrome or high-functioning autism score about 20)
  • 33 – 52 = average (most women score about 47 and most men score about 42)
  • 53 – 63 is above average
  • 64 – 80 is very high
  • 80 is maximum

As is standard for questionnaires and psychological tests, there are a number of “filler statements” that have nothing to do with the purpose of the test. On the EQ test, twenty filler statements are inserted, in the words of the authors, “to distract the participant from a relentless focus on empathy.” (Baron-Cohen and Wheelwright, 166)

I’ve gone through all 60 statements on the EQ test and attempted to categorize them under the following headings:

  • Filler statements
  • Statements regarding cognitive empathy
  • Statements regarding emotional/affective empathy

As far as I can tell, statements 2, 3, 5, 7, 9, 13, 16, 17, 20, 23, 24, 30, 31, 33, 40, 45, 47, 51, 53, and 56 are the filler statements. I won’t be critiquing them, since they have no impact on the EQ score.

Regarding the other two categories, the authors are quick to point out that, when setting up the test, they attempted to make a distinction between statements designed to measure cognitive empathy and statements designed to measure emotional/affective empathy, but gave up on the effort because there is so much overlap. I am very cognizant of the complex nature of the overlap, but I’ve separated these statements out, mainly for the purpose organizing my critique. In the category of cognitive empathy, I have also separated the statements about reading nonverbal cues from the statements about perspective taking.

The critique consists of these components:

The Introduction provide a discussion of the basics of the EQ test.

Part 1 provides a definition of cognitive empathy, along with a critique of the statements on the EQ test concerning cognitive empathy and nonverbal cues.

Part 2 examines the statements on the EQ test that cover cognitive empathy and perspective taking.

Part 3 provides a definition of emotional/affective empathy and includes a consideration of the statements on the EQ test that speak to this form of empathy

The Conclusion brings together my thoughts about the general nature of the test and its implications for autistic people.

Part 1
Definitions
Of the 40 statements geared toward measuring empathy on the EQ test, the vast majority – 27 – have primarily to do with cognitive empathy. Of course, some of these statements encompass both cognitive and emotional components, but in them, a lack of cognitive empathy is an implicit explanation for the lack of a normative emotional response, so I have included them under the cognitive empathy heading.

In The Empathy Quotient, Baron-Cohen and Wheelwright draw on a definition of cognitive empathy as “using a ‘theory of mind’ (Astington, Harris, & Olson, 1988; Wellman, 1990) or ‘mindreading’ (Baron-Cohen, 1995; Whiten, 1991).” According to the authors, cognitive empathy encompasses “setting aside one’s own current perspective, attributing a mental state (or ‘attitude’) to the other person (Leslie, 1987), and then inferring the likely content of their mental state, given the experience of that person.” (Baron-Cohen and Wheelwright, 164)

For those not familiar with the term “theory of mind (ToM),” Baron-Cohen defines it in the following way in his 2001 paper Theory of mind in normal development and autism:

A theory of mind remains one of the quintessential abilities that makes us human (Whiten, 1993). By theory of mind we mean being able to infer the full range of mental states (beliefs, desires, intentions, imagination, emotions, etc.) that cause action. In brief, having a theory of mind is to be able to reflect on the contents of one’s own and other’s minds. Difficulty in understanding other minds is a core cognitive feature of autism spectrum conditions. The theory of mind difficulties seem to be universal among such individuals.” (Baron-Cohen, 3)

I’m including the preceding paragraph not only for purposes of definition, but also to illustrate a) Baron-Cohen’s assumption that autistic people lack a ToM, and b) to make clear the rather dire consequences of this conclusion for autistic people — that is, that we lack one of the essential qualities of full humanity. Because the definition of cognitive empathy in use on the EQ test is based on an equivalence with ToM, and because Baron-Cohen considers ToM a quintessential component of humanity, it’s vitally important to critique the sections of the EQ test that contribute to his conclusions about cognitive empathy and autism.

I want to point out that the definition of cognitive empathy being used in Baron-Cohen and Wheelwright’s paper is quite different from the one that I have been using for some time. In my understanding, cognitive empathy has to do with being able to read nonverbal cues (body language, facial expressions, the expressions in the eyes, and so on) in order to intuitively “tune in” to what another person is thinking or feeling. I have not been using it simply to cover being able to see things from another person’s perspective or to understand the other person’s mental state.

To me, these are two separate, albeit related, processes. I have difficulty reading the nonverbal cues of non-autistic people, but I can’t remember a time in my life that I didn’t ask numerous questions or make numerous observations in order to understand the perspectives of other people; and I certainly can’t recall ever making the assumption other people’s thoughts and feelings were exactly like my own in every instance. In fact, my perception that my family members had values, and perspectives, and thoughts, and feelings that were altogether different from my own engendered a deep sense of aloneness in me from the time I was very young. Feeling like a stranger in a strange land is common for autistic people; the sense of being an anthropologist from Mars is a reflection of the fact that we are often keenly aware that other people perceive the world in ways vastly different from our own, and that we seek to make sense of it.

Given that I consider the reading of nonverbal cues and the ability to understand the perspective of others two separate processes, I will speak to the statements concerning them separately.

Statements that measure being able to read nonverbal cues
Here are the 15 statements on the EQ test that measure the respondent’s ability to pick up nonverbal cues:

1. I can easily tell if someone else wants to enter a conversation.
8. I find it hard to know what to do in a social situation.
10. People often tell me that I went too far in driving my point home in a discussion.
14. I often find it difficult to judge if something is rude or polite.
19. I can pick up quickly if someone says one thing but means another.
26. I am quick to spot when someone in a group is feeling awkward or uncomfortable.
35. I don’t tend to find social situations confusing.
41. I can easily tell if someone else is interested or bored with what I am saying.
44. I can sense if I am intruding, even if the other person doesn’t tell me.
46. People sometimes tell me that I have gone too far with teasing.
52. I can tune in to how someone else feels rapidly and intuitively.
54. I can easily work out what another person might want to talk about.
55. I can tell if someone is masking their true emotion.
57. I don’t consciously work out the rules of social situations.
58. I am good at predicting what someone will do.

I’ll begin by pointing out the inherent biases of these statements. They were clearly written by non-autistic people, with the assumption that the person being observed by the respondent is non-autistic, and that the social settings to which they refer are composed mainly of non-autistic people. (For example, the statement “I find it hard to know what to do in a social situation,” assumes a conventional social situation in which most, if not all, of the other people are non-autistic.) In other words, the statements are created by “normal” people, to measure responses to “normal” people, in “normal” settings.

When it comes to measuring empathy, this bias is a significantly troubling one — not just for autistic people, but for disabled people in general. The statements do not come from the perspective of autistic/disabled experience, they do not measure the respondent’s ability to read the nonverbal expression of autistic/disabled people, they do not consider the social position of autistic/disabled people in conventional social settings, and they do not consider any settings in which autistic/disabled people are the majority members.

To understand the implications of this bias, consider the first statement: “I can easily tell if someone else wants to enter a conversation.” As an autistic person, when I am in a “normal” social situation, I have great difficulty knowing when to jump into a conversation, and I am mystified by the fact that others seem to be reading one another’s signals and knowing when to let one another in. (In settings with autistic people, I do not have similar difficulties, as I understand both the cues and the social norms much better.) So, I would likely answer “Strongly disagree” to the first statement, simply because most situations in which I find myself involve “normal” people, who put out cues I do not understand; my answer, based solely on my minority status, would contribute to a lower empathy score. (I could skew the results by imagining myself only in situations with autistic people, but since the test is clearly measuring what happens in normative situations, I would respond to the statement based on the totality of my experience.)

Because the people writing the test are non-autistic, they have no idea of the methods that I use to work around the problem of being unable to read “normal” social cues. In instances in which I cannot intuitively tell when someone wants to enter a conversation, I tend to consciously look for people who aren’t able to get a word in edgewise, and I attempt to make room for them. In terms of perspective taking, this approach shows a significant level of cognitive empathy: I observe process, I see who is being excluded, and I identify with the experience of exclusion to such a degree that I attempt to ease the discomfort of other people. The fact that the authors of the test do not understand my adaptive mechanisms is quite problematic, because while my inability to tell when “normal” people want to enter a conversation would contribute to a low score, my adaptive mechanisms reflect a high level of cognitive empathy that the test does not pick up.

The statement about knowing when to include others in a conversation also fails to address the issue of what happens to autistic or otherwise disabled people in “normal” social settings. Given the social roles in which disabled people tend to be cast, this omission is a serious one. Disabled people often find ourselves wanting to enter a conversation in a social setting, only to have other people exclude us completely. I have been in a number of situations in which I’ve had this experience. “Normal” people were unable to read my nonverbal signals sufficiently to bring me in; in fact, they rendered me socially invisible. I always hesitate to talk in universals, but this experience is about as close to a universal one as you can find for disabled people, and anyone familiar with both the experience and the sociology of disability easily understands it.

I’m certain that if you asked most “normal” people whether they chronically fail to notice when disabled people want to enter a conversation, they’d deny it. For the most part, they pay so little attention to us that they probably don’t even realize what they’re doing. But these are the very same people who would very likely answer “Strongly agree” in response to the statement that they can easily tell if a person wants to enter a conversation. And the only reason that, according to the test, such a response is valid is because, in most instances, such people actually do notice other people sufficiently to read their signals. Thus, all the response indicates is that people in the majority are attentive to other people in the majority. It does not address a bias against disabled people, in the same setting, that is based on anything but empathy.

Finally, all of the statements that cover one’s ability to decipher the nonverbal cues of “normal” people rest on the assumption that everyone should be able to intuitively do so, and that an inability to do so is evidence of a lack of empathy. For example, the statement “I am quick to spot when someone in a group is feeling awkward or uncomfortable,” assumes that the respondent is looking at a non-autistic person. In this instance, I can certainly see how it might be difficult for an autistic person to quickly spot whether a non-autistic feels awkward or uncomfortable, because of difficulties in reading the person’s cues. I can also see how it might be easy for a non-autistic person to quickly spot whether another non-autistic person feels awkward or uncomfortable, because of an understanding of those same cues.

But of course, the test does not assume that the person being observed is autistic, that everyone should intuitively be able to read the nonverbal cues of the autistic person, and that an inability to do so is evidence of a lack of empathy. After all, if the statement about intuitively reading awkwardness or discomfort assumed that the respondent were looking at an autistic person, the results would come out quite differently, for two reasons: a) autistic people stand a better chance of reading one another’s signals properly, and b) non-autistic people usually find it very difficult to read autistic people’s signals properly.

For example, when I am in a store in which very loud music is playing, I have never had the experience of a non-autistic person being able to read my discomfort or note my awkwardness. Not once. Not ever. And yet, for me (and for a great many other autistic people), being in a store with very loud music is the hell-realm, and the question of whether to stay or go, whether to ask the store manager to turn down the music or not, whether to cry with frustration or put my fingers in my ears, places me in an extremely awkward position. My experience surpasses “normal” social awkwardness and “normal” social discomfort by several orders of magnitude, and yet non-autistic people fail to intuitively recognize that I’m having any kind of aversive experience at all. In every such situation I enter, I have to explain my experience, in detail, if I am to stand a chance of someone responding appropriately.

In general, when it comes to their relationships with autistic people, most non-autistics cannot, in the language of statement 52, “tune in to how someone else feels rapidly and intuitively.” And yet, of course, no one considers neurotypicality to be, by definition, a low-empathy condition.

Next: In Part 2, I will turn to the issue of perspective taking.

© 2011 by Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg

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On Language and the Spectrum of Experience

I tend to tread very carefully in the general discourse about autism, because stereotypes and overgeneralizations abound. Given the wide nature of the autism spectrum, and the varied experiences of autistics and family members, general pronouncements about the nature of autism, as opposed to particular statements about personal autism experiences, generally leave me very frustrated and depressed.

In response to living in a world in which people seem to argue endlessly about which autism is the “real” autism, I’ve made a commitment to reading a wide range of personal narratives. It keeps me from feeling frustrated by the constant generalizing, and it helps me to keep a broad perspective about the wide variety of experience in the world of autism and disability. I am constantly reminded that my experience of autism and disability is not everyone’s experience of autism and disability.

Unfortunately, I recently stumbled across an article that generalizes so dramatically from the specific that it’s taken me over a week to collect myself and respond. The article was written by a woman in my community, Prudence Baird, who has a 16-year-old son with Asperger’s. My husband knows Ms. Baird and has spoken highly of her; I have never met her personally, but she and I are both involved with the local independent weekly. Eager to know more about her, I decided to go to a website for women writers that she helps to run, just to see what sorts of things she writes about.

That’s where I found her article, Naked Motherhood. It discusses autism in highly charged and pejorative terms. (It also discusses the story of Jeremy Fraser, a story about which I have very strong feelings. In the interest of limiting the length of this piece, I’m not going to address those feelings here.)

The terms that Ms. Baird uses to describe autism wouldn’t be a problem for me if she were speaking only to her own experience; as I see it, how she experiences her life and frames her responses to it aren’t open to argument or judgment. However, she takes a giant leap from her experience to very generalized statements about autism that I consider to be highly prejudicial and potentially very destructive.

I want to make it very clear from the outset that I do not believe that Ms. Baird had any ill intent. I do not think she meant to do harm, or that she harbors ill-will toward autistic people, or that she doesn’t see the positive aspects of autism. My purpose is to discuss the impact of her words on me, and to speak to the fact that her words have the potential to do harm, regardless of intent.

Ms. Baird begins her piece with a personal anecdote in which her son is woken from sleep and becomes irate and aggressive:

The popsicle stick-thin figure in rumpled pajamas who is my 16-year-old son stands in the darkened corridor in a fighter’s stance, small white hands clenched into fists. His face, lit by a shaft of light from the laundry room, is contorted with rage at being roused from his slumber—probably by me shutting the dryer door.

“Honey, you’re half asleep; go back to bed.” A light touch Casey’s shoulder. Mistake. A tiny fist flies—I duck; a torrent of abuse follows.

“Just shut-up!” yells older brother wrenching open his bedroom door. Then, “Mah-ahm, you don’t ever punish him; he thinks he can get away with this.”

Casey tries to scramble past me, “Fucker! I’ll kill you!” I seize a second jab in mid-air, gently guiding the wrist to Casey’s side as I hold him firmly by the elastic of his P.J. pants.

“It’s late,” I soothe, drawing closed my older son’s bedroom door. “Let’s get you a cup of warm milk.”

But there will be no soothing tonight. The door to Casey’s room slams, and for emphasis, opens and slams harder. I count with eyes closed. Finally, his bed
creaks.

I very much admire that Ms. Baird responds gently and mindfully to her son. As far as I’m concerned, that’s the right response. No argument there. However, I find myself apprehensive about the fact that she says nothing about what her autistic son is going through — why he’s upset at being awakened, why he has such difficulty self-regulating, why he is in so much pain — but concentrates exclusively on her experience and on the impact on her elder son:

I pivot, open the bedroom door of my eldest son who is sprawling on his bed wearing drawstring shorts and Borat T-shirt. His laptop is open to what I hope is homework. He glances at me from under brows stitched together with almost two decades of frustration; a look too jaded for his 18 years.

I well understand that siblings of autistic kids have their own issues, and I am not at all suggesting that Ms. Baird talk about only the subjective experience of her autistic child. I am asking only that everyone’s experience have a place in the narrative.

I worry when I read an obviously well-honed piece, written for public consumption, that does not include any words about the subjective experience of the autistic young man who is at the center of the discussion. Yes, autism can be hard on a family — and it’s also very hard on the person with the condition. I have read innumerable stories about the impact of autism on the family that fail to even guess at the experience of autistic people. Each time I do, I have the same uneasy feeling that I have reading Ms. Baird’s piece — that others will see autistic people merely as burdens and sources of pain, rather than as full-blooded human beings in need of the same empathy and respect as anyone else.

As an autistic person, my heart sinks when read these sorts of narratives. In a world in which the voices of autistic people are so relentlessly ignored, every iteration is another moment of invisibility.

After all, when people read narrative after narrative in which autistics are discussed only with reference to the difficulties of others, the impact on the ways in which people view and treat autistic people can be profound. Many of us have had the disheartening experience of disclosing our diagnoses, only to find that people immediately feel sorry for our family members for having to live with us — even when our family members take great delight in us and do not feel sorry for themselves in the least.

For example, when I was first diagnosed and going through a difficult time, one of my extended family members said to my husband, “Take care of yourself. Sometimes, you know, the caregiver suffers worse than the patient.” I was aghast. Fortunately, my husband clarified that he is not a caregiver, that he is not suffering, and that I am not a patient — that, in fact, he is my husband, I am his wife, and we are very happy together, just as we were before the diagnosis.

Such are the sources of my unease — an unease that turns to outright pain with the next sentence:

“This is autism,” I whisper. “Please. Punishing isn’t the answer.”

As I said earlier, I admire Ms. Baird’s approach to her son; that isn’t what pains me. And I am willing to guess that, in her household, “This is autism” is a shorthand for “This is your brother’s experience of autism.” Unfortunately, because the article was published on the Internet, many people will have no idea of what those words might mean in the context of her family. Many people will only see the words “This is autism” and believe that all autistic people melt down after being awakened, take a swing at family members, and threaten them with bodily harm.

The pain that I feel about it is particularly intense because the person who wrote those words lives in my community, where my Asperger’s is well-known. I wonder whether people who read these words will look at me now and think, “Well, she certainly holds it together well when she’s sitting on her porch, but she must be hell-on-wheels inside her house. The next time I stop by to admire her flowers, I’d better keep my distance and be careful not to set her off.”

They would have absolutely no reason to see me in that light. None at all. But I know that there are people who will see me through the lens of that distortion because, once upon a time, when the only thing I knew about autism were dreadful stereotypes, I thought that all autistic people were scary, too.

My concerns on this score only increase when Ms. Baird launches into some of the most fear-inducing words about autism that I have ever read:

Autism is where marriages and parenting partnerships come to die on the rocks of exhaustion, despair and blind self-interest. Autism wears down families, severs familial bonds with sharp and bitter recriminations, blame and guilt.

I absolutely cannot tolerate it when people indulge in these kinds of generalizations about a condition that exists on a very, very wide spectrum. I understand and have compassion for Ms. Baird’s experience, but it is her experience. Yes, it is an experience shared by other families, but it is by no means the universal experience of autism.

Like Ms. Baird’s son, I have Asperger’s. Have my marriage and my parenting partnership died “on the rocks of exhaustion, despair, and blind self-interest”? No. Has my autism severed “familial bonds”? No. Has my autism worn down my family with “recriminations, blame, and guilt”? No. Quite the contrary, in fact.

My neurotypical husband tells me early and often how happy he is that we found each other, and how much I help to ground him and to help him feel at home in the world. My neurotypical 18-year-old daughter tells me that I’m the best mother she could ever ask for, because I listen to her, give her unconditional support, and treat her with respect and kindness. My friends find me to be a trustworthy and sensitive person. Like most autistic people, I am neither aggressive nor violent; in fact, it gives me physical pain just to think about people being violent toward one another.

In my experience, we autistics are as different from one another as the members of any other group. I have worked with autistic teens who are quite aggressive; I have also worked with autistic teens who are among the most gentle, kind, and sensitive people I’ve ever met. And, from my association with autism parents, I know that autism families have experiences that are all over the map. I also know that, when they have similar experiences, they can respond to them in a very wide variety of ways.

Consider the following:

Many autism parents have not had their marriages and their families torn asunder. In fact, a 2010 study showed that, in the United States, the divorce rate for parents of autistic children is 36%, while the divorce rate for parents of typical children is 35%.

Many autism parents have found that raising their autistic children has strengthened their families, and has made them stronger and more nurturing people.

Many autism parents feel that if family members and friends distance themselves, it is not the fault of the autism. It is the fault of the people who refuse to make room in their lives and in their hearts for their children.

Many autism parents are living fulfilled lives with autistic children whom they enjoy. Are their lives difficult? Of course. Are they happy? Much of the time, yes.

In short: Many autism parents, after the initial shock of the diagnosis and the steep learning curve that it entails, do not experience autism as a disaster that has befallen them. Consider the words of K, the mother of a son with autism and apraxia, who blogs at Floortime Lite Mama:

I realized that the most important story that I will ever tell, is the one I tell myself.

About me and my life.

And that I am not just the central character of my life

But also the author

Its most important audience

And the narrator

And so the story I started to write, has become a story of gifts and gratitude and love

And not a story of loss and fear and guilt

And I see my child as different, even gifted

And I stopped seeing him as broken

I have come to see the difficulties of my life

But am still deeply aware of its essential sweetness

And I find that I am not living in a sad story

Or a make-the-most story

Or even a second-best story

And that the story that began so promisingly with “once upon a time” does end on a “happily ever after

Because this is my story

And that is how I write.

These words reflect K’s experiences and how she has framed them. I am not at all suggesting that everyone has the same experiences, or that all autism experiences could, by any stretch of the imagination, be framed in this way. I am simply pointing out how varied our experiences and our responses are. If Ms. Baird had simply spoken in the first person, about her own experiences, I wouldn’t have a problem. Not at all. If she finds her life as an autism parent unbearably difficult, I respect the voice of her experience, and I respect her right to speak honestly about it.

But from my perspective, drawing conclusions about an entire group of people based on a subset of experience is not helpful, to say the least. It’s nothing less than stereotyping. And stereotyping of any group, whether based on race, class, religion, sexual orientation, or disability has serious consequences for the ways in which people are treated at school, at work, and in the community.

Unfortunately, the article continues on in the same vein. I hardly have the words to describe my response to the next paragraph:

Autism makes no sense; there are no navigational tools or comfortable rest stops along the path families must traverse on their way towards the inevitable—when they must blindly entrust their disabled loved ones to the care of others when they themselves are spent, the marrow of their bones turned to dust, and all their loving ministrations poured out onto the dry sand of life’s injustice. In the final analysis, the only real measure of the energy expended is the significant shortening of the mother’s lifespan and the distance the other family members put between themselves and the pain that just won’t go away.

It’s taken me awhile to untangle all the reasons that I find these words so deeply offensive. I will begin by pointing out the obvious fact that autism does not exist separately from human beings. So when people talk about autism in such pejorative terms, they are not talking about a disembodied abstraction.

I am not arguing whether autism is intrinsic to the person or a condition that can be separated from the person. I’m not going to generalize about the lives of millions of people. Arguments on that point tend to be fruitless, because how people render identity is very complex and very personal. I only know how it is for me — I consider autism intrinsic to who I am — but how it is for me is not the issue here.

What I want to point out is the simple fact that autism is always manifested by human beings. In the final analysis, when people talk about their experience of autism, they are talking about their experience of people with autism. And when they make sweeping, generalized, unsubstantiated claims that autism significantly shortens the lifespans of parents and tears families apart, autistic people become stigmatized by association.

Please understand: I’ve got a condition that is already poorly understand and highly stigmatized, and sometimes, all I really want in life is for the rhetoric to become more nuanced, not more strident. All I really want is for people to be able to see me as a human being, without stereotypes clouding their judgment. Because as difficult as it is to have autism, it’s even more difficult to go out into my community as an openly autistic person with this sort of language flying around. And for a great many people I know, it makes it impossible to come out of the closet at all.

In the past, I have found myself very isolated and lonely because I’ve been afraid that other people will believe the stereotypes about autistic people. It’s been terribly painful to go out into the world being my friendly self, eager to help and to be part of my community, only to feel the energy shift in very, very clear ways when I disclose my autism.

Does it happen all the time? Thank God, it doesn’t. I have found many people who take me as I am and do not rely on stereotypes. Sometimes, they even ask me about my experience of autism and how it manifests in me. For my recent job interview, the parents of the little guy for whom I am now a caregiver did just that. But when I applied for the position and disclosed my Asperger’s, I was afraid that the stereotypes would precede me and that I wouldn’t even be considered for the job.

I shouldn’t have to live with that kind of fear. No one should. And one of the ways to create a world in which no autistic person needs to feel that fear is to stop engaging in generalized pronouncements, for good or for ill, about what autism is.

I honor people for whom autism is a gift, and I feel tremendous pain for people for whom it is a curse. But a great many of us tread the vast grey area between the two poles. All across the spectrum of experience, we all need to be heard.

© 2011 by Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg

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The Misleading Nature of the Deficit Model

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.
—Angela Monet

I’ve never been shy about my feelings concerning the deficit model of autism. I object to its focus on “impairments” and its dismissal of our gifts as “splinter skills.” I dislike the hierarchy of human value it implies and, every time it leads a parent to believe that his or her autistic child will never feel love, I want to cry.

Lately, though, I’ve come to feel that the deficit model isn’t simply prejudicial, but entirely misleading.

In my view, the language of deficit hides the intrinsic nature of autism. In my experience, autism is not a condition of deficit, but of overabundance. I’ve never viewed my difficulties as deficits, because I spend a great deal of my daily energy dealing with an experience that is laden with perception and feeling. I hear everything very clearly, with very little filtering. My eyes are constantly taking in the visual world: color, texture, pattern, and motion. I have a vivid emotional and visual memory, both for events that have just occurred, and for experiences long past. I feel other people’s emotions immediately upon meeting them, and it’s in my nature to see things from a multiplicity of points of view.

When I look at autistic people who have been deemed “low-functioning,” I see people whose sensitivities make me look absolutely wooden. Our presentation is very, very different and, obviously, I can do a great many conventional things that others cannot. But intuitively, I know that they are not dealing with perceptual deficits. I see people whose overabundance of feeling and perception is both fundamentally different from mine and altogether overwhelming to their ability to function in any kind of normative way.

It’s this relative lack of normative functioning that brings in the deficit model. And, in terms of helping people to qualify for services and obtain needed assistance, it’s not a bad model. After all, if you need a service, you need to be able to document why. The problem is that once the deficit model is in place, it becomes impossible for most people to see beyond it. If you start talking about your internal experience, you get dismissed, because what becomes important is how you appear and what you do, not who you are or what you feel.

And how you appear is generally what shows up on an assessment, because the questions are geared to the surface level, and not much else. So, for example, if one were to ask whether I hold tenaciously to my own feelings and ideas, it might appear that I have difficulty seeing multiple points of view. But part of the reason I am so tenacious is that I’ve gone through a process of looking at things from so many different points of view that I would drown in the sea of other people’s perceptions if I didn’t make a judgment as to where I stand and what I believe. In arriving at a conclusion, I work through an immense number of possibilities and, once I’ve gone through the process, I generally form a strong opinion. It doesn’t mean that my mind is closed; it means that I’m not going to be convinced out of an idea or a feeling simply for the sake of social form or expectation.

Apparently, because I hold firmly to my conclusions, I can appear to be unempathetic to those who do not think as I do. If people only knew how intuitively I bounce from one person’s perception to another, how intensely I feel other people’s feelings, and how much mental and emotional discipline it takes to parse experiences that aren’t even on most people’s radar, they would see that my way of thinking is anything but inflexible—or easy.

Fortunately for me, I can speak, write, and express my internal life to other people. Where would I be if I didn’t have words? Where would I be if I weren’t able to navigate the world in a language it understands? Then I’d just look like a walking deficit model. And people without the empathy to see what’s going on below the surface would call me unempathetic, incapable of seeing things from other points of view, and without feeling. And they would be very, very wrong.

In describing autism as an experience of abundance, I don’t want to minimize the difficulties of living a life of intense perception, especially for those who cannot function in conventional ways. What I want to do is to signal that far from lacking the basic essentials of humanity, we feel our humanity acutely, and we suffer when others choose not to honor it.

© 2011 by Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg

Reflections on Being Jewish and Autistic: Different Minorities, Same Critique

For almost two years now, I’ve become increasingly aware of how other people regard autistics. As you all know, the news is not altogether good. As I’ve waded my way through all manner of error and nonsense, I’ve had the most familiar feeling, as though I had heard it all before. The other day, it finally occurred to me: I’ve encountered the same basic stereotypes and misinformation about Jewish people as I have about autistic people.

All minority people, to some extent, have to endure similar false charges, but the similarities between my experience of prejudice as a Jew and my experience of prejudice as an autist are striking. Here are some of the most damaging myths:

We don’t love properly. In the larger, mainly Christian culture in which I’ve lived my life, the view seems to be that the Jews of the “Old Testament” were all about strict justice, and that the Christians of the “New Testament” were all about love. (I put the names of the books in quotation marks because I don’t see one as being old and outmoded and the other as having superseded it; I see them both as valid traditions in their own right.)

The Jewish God, the critique goes, is only a God of judgment, a God of punishment, a God who lacks forgiveness, and we are just like our God: cold, judgmental, merciless. The Christian God, on the other hand, is a God of love and forgiveness. When I was growing up, without much of a Jewish education, I actually believed all of this. I believed it until I was in my late thirties, and I asked a rabbi whether there was anything in Judaism to help me heal my broken heart. His reply? “Yes. Our people brought the truth to the world that there is a God who loves us and cares about our lives.” I nearly fainted. When I began to study and practice Judaism in adulthood, I was startled to find that we are instructed to love our neighbors, to love our enemies, to love mercy, and to make right the wrongs of the world.

And what did I believe about autistic people until I found out that I actually am one? I believed that autistic people don’t have empathy, the very basis of loving relationships. The lack-of- empathy trope has been at the core of autism theory for a number of years, and it’s appalling how many people still believe it. Of course, they don’t appear to have met any of the autistic people I know, nor do they seem to have much empathy for the pain and suffering this canard causes autistic people on a daily basis.

We think terms of black and white. Now, the interesting thing about this particular myth is that it betrays some pretty black-and-white thinking on the part of the people who accuse us of black-and-white thinking. For example, when people say that Jews are only about justice, it’s justice of a kind that brooks no shades of gray. Christians, on the other hand, are said to be all about love, which encompasses many, many shades of gray. But the truth is that Jewish tradition has always been concerned with a concept called tzedakah, which is essentially an action that combines justice (righting a wrong) with love (easing and, ultimately, healing the suffering of other beings). We do not think in black and white about justice and love; in fact, we combine them. To split them apart is an example of black-and-white thinking at its best.

Now, consider the myth that autistics think in black and white, usually expressed as our being all about logic and systems. In fact, some researchers believe that we have Extremely Male Brains that are high on systemizing, while non-autistics have brains that are high on empathizing. And yet, when I look at my own life, and that of other autistic people, I often see a capacity for high levels of both systemizing and empathizing, and I see them working together. We don’t split them apart. Other people do, and then they tell us that we’re the ones with the black-and-white thinking. It’s enough to make you weep.

We are excessively logical. Many people believe that Judaism is all about “legalisms,” and that it does not concentrate on coming from the heart. This particular myth is very old and very intractable, in part because most people believe that Judaism begins and ends with the “Old Testament,” ignoring thousands of years of mysticism, story-telling, discussion, ritual, and practice that are all about opening one’s heart. I’m not saying that all Jews come from the heart, any more than all Christians come from the heart. I’m saying that Jewish culture has its own ways of combining head-thinking with heart-wisdom that are little known or understood by others.

Of course, autistics are constantly stereotyped as being overly logical—except when we’re stereotyped as being out of control. And yet, somehow, we manage to have friends, families, relationships, children, and ethical lives.

We insist upon being different. For a number of years, I wore garb that clearly identified me as Jewish. For awhile, I wore a yarmulke and tzitzis (ritual fringes) every day, all day. During another period, I only wore headscarves and dresses. I now dress in a thoroughly secular fashion. When I didn’t, I got all kinds of attitude about “setting myself apart.” Of course, I wasn’t setting myself apart. I was just being myself. And I wear what I wear now because I am just being myself.

I grow. I change. I morph. I explore. I’m inconsistent. I’m human. Go figure.

Not surprisingly, I have gotten similar messages regarding my autistic sensitivities to all things sensory. I’m told that I’m “choosing” to be so sensitive, that I’m setting myself apart, when I’m really just being myself. And when my sensitivities are not as troubling, I’m also just being myself.

I grow. I change. I morph. I explore. I’m inconsistent. I’m human. Go figure.

Other people are normal, and we are abnormal. Many years ago, when my daughter was small, her father used to pick up one of her friends after school and bring him home. One December, on the way home, the young man said, “We celebrate Christmas at my house. We don’t celebrate Chanuka. We’re not like you. We’re normal.” My ex-husband took the long way home and patiently explained the concept of diversity to the young man until he got the picture.

And of course, we autists get stuck with the “abnormal” label all the time—more evidence of that dualistic, black-and-white thinking that “normal” people aren’t supposed to engage in.

We are all alike. In response to all the many myths surrounding Judaism and Jewish people, I did interfaith work for a number of years, teaching workshops in areas schools and churches. Some of the most common questions I got began with the words, “So what do Jews believe?”—as though we all believe the same thing! That was the moment I’d introduce the mantra of “You get two Jews in a room, you get three opinions.”

Likewise, it seems, people have an excessive need to see autistic people as being all alike. It usually expresses itself in terms of narrowing the definition of what autistic means. (I recently saw a YouTube video in which the mother of an autistic young man actually said that you can’t be autistic if you can speak. I was flabbergasted. ) At other times, this need to see us as alike expresses itself in conclusions by researchers that autistic people are a collection of deficits and impairments without any strengths at all. If we have strengths, they are usually called “splinter skills” (a term I despise, even though it’s got some cool alliteration and assonance going on).

Of course, we’re as varied as any other group. I’m not sure what kind of impairment, oops, I mean, neurological difference keeps people from seeing that variation. It might be interesting to do some genetic research on the matter.

We are not fully human. I first became aware that some people believe that Jews are not fully human when I was in Hebrew school and saw a piece of Nazi propaganda in which Jews were likened to vermin. I felt such pride in who I was that I just couldn’t believe my eyes. Who could really think that Jews weren’t people? Apparently, at certain times in history, a great many people.

I was reminded of this experience when I happened upon some writing by Dr. Ivar Lovaas, the psychologist who pioneered the treatment now known as Applied Behavioral Analysis. In discussing the basis of his treatment, he wrote of autistics in 1974:

“You see, you start pretty much from scratch when you work with an autistic child. You have a person in the physical sense—they have hair, a nose and a mouth—but they are not people in the psychological sense. One way to look at the job of helping autistic kids is to see it as a matter of constructing a person. You have the raw materials, but you have to build the person.”

I shudder to think of how many people still believe this kind of thing.

Of course, Jews, autistics, and members of any other minority group share similar experiences: we are vulnerable no matter how well we “pass” and live up to the standards of the larger culture, and we constantly have to fight against the appropriation of our own voices. Moreover, the solution to whatever problem we appear to pose consists of attempts to do at least one of the following: a) efface our differences to make us indistinguishable from others, b) demand at least a pro forma conversion to the dominant paradigm, which means that we can stim/rock back and forth in prayer/be ourselves, but only out of the public eye, or c) isolate us in ways both visible and invisible.

There are many, many autistic people who cannot do a “pro forma conversion,” who cannot “pass” as I do, and who have endured severe levels of bullying, assault, and isolation as a result. I shy away from the word Aspie and I use the word autistic to describe myself in order to make common cause with people across the spectrum (in the same way that I refer to myself as a Jew, not a denominational Jew, in order to make common cause with other Jews, no matter how differently they may think and practice, and how vehemently I may disagree with them). I will continue to do both. I have Asperger’s Syndrome, and that makes me autistic. I had Jewish parents, and that makes me a Jew. I may present differently from others in my group, but then again, so do trees and birds and rocks. Why should people be any less diverse than the whole of creation?

© 2010 by Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg

Welcome to the Back of the Bus

I’ve been going through an especially hard time lately. I’ve been feeling very dispirited, sad, angry, abandoned, and lost. I have days in which I cry virtually all day long. And then, I have days like today, in which I feel more grounded and more focused. Perhaps it’s simply that I got a full night’s sleep last night—the first full night’s sleep I’ve gotten in months. For the past few months, I’ve been waking up at 3:45 am, and then I have trouble falling asleep again. It doesn’t matter what time I go to bed; I wake up at the same time. If I manage to fall asleep again, I have disturbing dreams that are so vivid that I don’t even realize I’m dreaming until I wake up.

A friend of mine asked whether I’m having an extended meltdown—an interesting question. I don’t think I’m having a meltdown, at least not in the usual sense. If what is happening to me is a meltdown, it’s the combined result of all the years of driving myself, all the years of finding no kindness or understanding, all the years of trying so desperately to be what I cannot be, all the years of hating myself for not being what I cannot be. If I’m having a meltdown, it’s the result of all the stressors I’ve battled against throughout my life.

But really, what I’m going through feels more like extended grieving. And perhaps that’s all a meltdown really is: an explosion of grief over the pain of overload, the pain of being alone, the pain of being invisible, the pain of living in a world that is hard to bear.

There are many layers to this kind of grief, and the one I’m focusing on now is the grief of realizing that being autistic means being a member of a hugely misunderstood and maligned minority. I used to think I’d already traversed that territory by virtue of being a Jew, but the experience I’m having now is quite different from anything I’ve encountered in the past. True, I have experienced anti-Semitism, up close and personal, and I’ve met more than my fair share of people who think that they understand Jews because they’ve read the Bible or had a Jewish friend once. I still see plenty of anti-Semitism out there in the world, but for the most part, it doesn’t feel personal. Most people who know I’m Jewish don’t see me as a caricature. They don’t rely on stereotypes when thinking about me. Until recently, I lived my life as a very visible Jew—first wearing a kippah and tzitzis everywhere I went, and then later, wearing a headscarf and long skirts. If someone were going to engage in anti-Semitic craziness, I would have known about it by now. It just hasn’t happened. 

The experience of being autistic feels very different. Now that my autism diagnosis is on the table, and I’m making changes to integrate it into the life of my family, I feel like a walking stereotype. People in Bob’s family who have known me for years say things that are completely at odds with their experience of me—that is, when they’re not ignoring me altogether. All that has changed is that I have a diagnosis of autism. That’s all. When people got upset about Bob cancelling his trip, he got responses like the following:

  • Does Rachel have as much empathy for you as you have for her?
  • Often, it’s the caretaker who suffers more than the patient.
  • You should put Rachel first, but not at the exclusion of your own children.
  • If Rachel could do everything on her own before, why can’t she now?

If instead of receiving an Asperger’s diagnosis last November, I’d had a stroke and needed to relearn everything—how to go grocery shopping, how to be out in the world without becoming disoriented, how to speak without exhausting myself, how to reconstruct my self-image, how to reconfigure my life so that it works—I sincerely doubt that anyone would have questioned my ability to empathize, accused me of taking up too much of my husband’s time, or challenged me about whether I had actually lost the ability to do simple tasks. In fact, people would have been asking about how they could help.

However, I have a diagnosis of autism, and that makes me suspect. It means that instead of writing and offering supportive words, my relatives pull back and offer almost no direct support. Apart from the email I received from one of Bob’s cousins, the great shining exception to this pattern is my 93-year-old father-in-law. He is very interested in what I write on my blog and talks to me on the phone with great appreciation and affection. Perhaps it’s because we share so much in common. We were once both very high-functioning people out there in the world, seemingly in control of things, and making a Great Success Of It All. Now, he is very frail and can’t possibly do what he was able to do even five years ago. He has had to find new ways to see himself and to enjoy the world. Despite differences in age and neurology, we are going through parallel experiences, and somehow, we’ve been able to extend ourselves to each other.

Within the family, though, he is the exception. When I consider the range of responses I’ve gotten, from silence to anger to suspicion, I find myself realizing that I have now joined the ranks of the invisible, the misunderstood, the maligned, and the burdensome. This time, it’s personal. This time, it’s in the family. This time, despite the fact that I used to ride up front, I’ve been told to go to the back of the bus and stay there. What else does it mean when someone considers me a patient rather than a wife? What else does it mean when, instead of showing compassion for what I’ve lost, someone accuses me of choosing to become disabled? What else does it mean when people direct their words to Bob and not to me, as though talking to me is suddenly an uncomfortable (and therefore impossible) task? It all signals an unwillingness to encounter me as I really am and to show me the respect due to any human being. It means that I have second-class status. It means that I am expected to justify myself at every turn, to reassure people that I will not make them uncomfortable, and to let them know how sorry I am for what a burden I have placed on their shoulders.

Of course, I categorically reject all of this nonsense. I will not sit in the back of the bus, and if anyone expects me to, I will not negotiate. I will not justify myself. I will not explain myself. I will not apologize for myself. I will just get off the bus and walk, in my own direction, and at my own pace. Is it lonely? Hell, yes. But, as Frederick Douglass wrote:

I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence. 

© 2009 by Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg

My 100th Post: A List (Aren’t You Shocked?) of 100 Myths about Autism

You are now reading my 100th post!

To celebrate this milestone, I’ve decided to publish a list of 100 myths about autism. I was going to make a list of 100 things about myself that you didn’t already know, but I figured I wouldn’t have enough material. :-)

100 Myths about Autism

1. Autistic people are never creative.

2. Autistic people are never imaginative.

3. Autistic people are always good at spatial tasks.

4. Autistic people cannot empathize with others.

5. Autistic people can never have intimate relationships.

6. Autistic people can never be good parents.

7. Autistic people can never have friends.

8. All autistic people are highly intelligent.

9. All autistic people are unintelligent.

10. All autistic people are nonverbal.

11. Autistic people who are nonverbal have nothing to say.

12. Autistic people who are nonverbal cannot otherwise communicate.

13. Autistic people who are nonverbal cannot think.

14. Autistic people cannot love.

15. Autistic people belong in institutions.

16. Autistic people have no emotions.

17. Autistic people can never work for a living.

18. Autistic people just aren’t trying hard enough to fit in.

19. Autistic people are never interested in other people.

20. Autistic people do not need community of any kind.

21. Autistic people can never acquire new skills.

22. Autistic people can never lose existing skills.

23. Autistic people cannot reflect upon the mental states of other people.

24. Autistic people don’t make eye contact because they don’t care about what people have to say.

25. Autistic people are always logical.

26. Autistic people are overly emotional.

27. Autistic people are insensitive.

28. Autistic people are too sensitive.

29. Autistic people are empty inside.

30. Autistic people need pity.

31. All autistic people are like Rain Man.

32. The real Rain Man is autistic.

33. All autistic people are like Temple Grandin.

34. Autistic people cannot be happy.

35. Asperger’s Syndrome and autism are two separate conditions.

36. People with high-functioning autism have it easy.

37. People with high-functioning autism are not like other autistic people.

38. People with high-functioning autism are just socially awkward.

39. People with low-functioning autism have no quality of life.

40. People with low-functioning autism have low IQs.

41. Autistic people are a burden on society.

42. Autism is caused by poor parenting.

43. Autism is caused by vaccines.

44. Autism is a mental illness.

45. Autism is a disease.

46. Autism is a disorder.

47. Autism can be cured.

48. Autism should be cured.

49. Autistic people should be removed from the gene pool by pre-natal testing.

50. All autistic people are hermits.

51. All hermits are autistic people.

52. All autistic people think in pictures.

53. Most doctors understand autism.

54. The autism experts are always right.

55. The autism experts are experts on autism

56. Autistic people do not understand autism.

57. Autistic people should believe everything the experts say about autism.

58. The loved ones of autistic people should believe everything the experts say about autism.

59. The general public should believe everything the experts say about autism.

60. If you don’t believe what the experts say, you must be autistic.

61. If you can understand what the experts say, you cannot be autistic.

62. If you understand metaphor, you cannot be autistic.

63. Autism is a walk in the park.

64. If you have a sense of humor, you cannot be autistic.

65. If you can tell a joke, you cannot be autistic.

66. I love being autistic! It’s a blast! All the time!

67. I hate being autistic. It’s a bummer. All the time.

68. Autistic people are all alike.

69. Autistic children could “behave properly” if they really wanted to.

70. Autistic children “misbehave” because their parents enable them.

71. Autistic people do not work hard to get through the day.

72. After all, how hard could it be?

73. Autism is just an excuse to be insensitive and lazy.

74. Autistic girls do not present differently than autistic boys.

75. Autistic women do not present differently than autistic men.

76. Autism Speaks speaks for me.

77. Autism Speaks speaks for all autistic people.

78. Autism Speaks has autistic people on its paid staff.

79. Autism Speaks has autistic people on its board of directors.

80. Autistic people are puzzles with missing pieces.

81. Autistic people are broken and in need of repair.

82. Asperger’s is just the latest trendy diagnosis. 8)

83. Having a trendy diagnosis like Asperger’s makes you popular.

84. Autistic people can never be athletes.

85. Autistic people are always clumsy.

86. All autistic people are completely incapable of eye contact.

87. Autistic people cannot carry on a conversation.

88. Autistic ways of being are inferior to neuro-typical ways of being.

89. Autistic points of view are inferior to neuro-typical points of view.

90. If you can make a YouTube video, you are not autistic.

91. If you can publish a blog, you are not autistic.

92. If you can post comments to a blog, you are not autistic.

93. If you don’t have an “official” diagnosis, you are not autistic.

94. If you can read this list, you are not autistic.

95. If you are reading this list, you must be autistic.

96. Myth #95 has just saved you a ton of money that you would otherwise have spent on an autism assessment.

97. Logic dictates that you deposit a small portion of the money you’ve saved into my PayPal account.

98. I mean it.

99. I am not kidding.

100. I will finish the list now because my autistic mind craves order and consistency.

101. Oh, what the hell, here’s one more.

102. Being on #102 in a list of 100 myths about autism isn’t driving my autistic mind crazy.

103. Being autistic, I always know when to stop.

104. Always.

105. Really.

106. Like now.

107. Or maybe not.

108. No one minds that I’m on #108.

109. It bugs everyone that I’m on #109.

110. I don’t care if it bugs people.

111. I have no problem ending this list on an odd number.

112. The fact that this list ends on an even number is a mere coincidence.

© 2009 by Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg